In the Waiting Room

"They think I might have cancer," she said softly.  "Will you go with me when I find out?"

How could I say no?  This woman, although she is 20 years my senior, is my friend. There was no place I'd rather be, than holding her hand when she would hear the results of her many tests. "It would be my honor," I replied, humbled that she would ask me to be there with her.

As a ministry leader and pastor's wife, it is not uncommon for me to be in hospitals; in fact, it has become familiar territory.  But today was different.  This wasn't some stranger I was visiting; this was my friend. This was my son's Sunday School teacher.

So today we went, along with another friend from church.  We crowded into the small room, the 3 of us and the doctor, as he explained the results.  "It is colon cancer," he said, "Stage 4."  "It has spread."

Tears were shed. Questions were asked. We waited...and waited...and waited...until she was admitted to the hospital.


And, like many things in life, we sit in the unknown.  We sit in the waiting room of life, wondering what will happen.  We trust in our God, that His ways are not our ways, and we wait on Him.


Yet we see Him at work, even in the waiting room. As we sat for 3 hours in the hallway, she lying on a gurney and me resting in her wheelchair, I remembered something.  In my purse was a copy of "Jesus Calling," a book I felt led to give to her. I had pulled the ribbon bookmark to February 16th, because I felt that particular day would really minister to her.  She took one look and smiled.  You see, last weekend, her other friend gave her the book as well.  The first day she had opened to and read was February 16th.  This is what it said:

Thank Me for the conditions that are requiring you to be still.  Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently to be active again.  Some of the greatest works in My kingdom have been done from sick beds and prison cells.  Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances.  Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to me.

You see, even in the waiting room, God is at work.  We may not understand His ways, or His plan, but we can take comfort in the fact that, at the very least, He is there.

Whatever waiting room you are in, remember that He is with you, waiting with you.

A Week Like No Other

You know you've had a hard week when...

-Your printer toner explodes all over your favorite pair of jeans
-Said printer is broken, and you have to use a friend's printer approximately 10 times
-Printer needs to be taken to a repair shop or it can never be used again
-You have to call your old dentist to fix a cracked crown, find out it's really not under warranty, but they'll give you a deal for $375.
-You also find out you need another $900 worth of work on your teeth.
-You discover that when your hard drive crashed, you lost 5 years worth of files and photos (only to find them after 2 days of crying about it).
-You get mad at your husband for said "hard drive crash" event, then have to apologize since he was the one who found all of your missing files.
-You go to your job and mess up pretty bad, making your boss irritated
-You have to take care of 2 sick kids (one with a 103.4 fever), and then you contract the never-ending cough that seems to strike only when you are trying to sleep.

And then...

-A friend ends up in the hospital

-Another friend dies

Yep, that was my week, alright.  Honestly, though, I felt God's presence very strong with me through this week's events.  When someone you know passes away, it puts everything in perspective. You realize that you shouldn't get upset about the little things in life.  You also realize that the most important "things" in your life are the people you love, and you need to cherish every moment with them. You realize that sometimes you get upset about stupid things, and it is important to slow down and remember what really matters.

The person who died was a former boss of mine (a professor), as well as my master's thesis advisor in college. He was also a former pastor at our church- the one who got Martin the job as Associate Pastor of Youth and Worship. He was the father to two kids in our youth group, and we had regular events at his house.  We went camping with the church (and his family), and he was there when we all found out that a teenager in our church died in a tragic accident. He counseled, encouraged, and challenged everyone he was around.  The last few years he had moved and we were not in regular contact with him. However, he made an indelible mark on my life.

During the time I worked for him, he would always refer to me as "his" secretary.  Although I worked for 15 professors, he felt that I did more work for him than anyone, and so he gave everyone the impression that I worked for him alone :)  He would invite me into his office and we would talk about theology, life, ministry, and family.  One time I told him a dream I had, and he proceeded to interpret it in a "Daniel" way, and gave me such insight into my life that I felt changed afterwards!

Craig Rusch could often be seen in the middle of controversy, but it was because he was passionate about justice, and passionate about the people he cared about.

Unfortunately he passed away suddenly from pneumonia-type symptoms while on a business trip, doing what he loved - consulting with organizations on how to reach younger generations.

You can read more about his life here.  Tomorrow is his memorial service, where Martin and I will sing "It is Well with my Soul."  Today I shopped for the reception afterwards.  I am overseeing that part of the service, and it was an odd feeling to be in Costco, shopping for the memorial service of a man I used to know so well. I used to plan Anthropology receptions for him when I worked as his Administrative Assistant. Today I just did what I always used to do for him. It was a little therapeutic for me, as I thought about him and processed his life and death.

Today, hold the ones you love a little closer.  Remember that if you've had a bad week, those little annoyances are so small compared to eternity, and we need to love well the ones God has blessed us with.

Valentine's Day Appetizer- YUM!

I recently joined a fun group called the "So Cal Lady Bloggers," and this week we are having a Romantic Progressive Dinner, just in time for Valentine's Day.  Each person in the blog hop has a great recipe to share with you.

If you would like some yummy recipes to whip up for your loved one this Valentine's Day, you have come to the right place.

I was assigned an appetizer dish, and I found an easy but fantastic twist on traditional bruschetta.

Strawberry Bruschetta
24 slices French baguette
1 Tbls. butter, softened
2 cups chopped fresh strawberries
1/4 cup white sugar, or as needed

Directions: Preheat your oven's broiler. Spread a thin layer of butter on each baguette slice. Arrange in a single layer on a large baking sheet.  Place bread under broiler for 1-2 minutes, until lightly toasted.  Spoon some chopped strawberries onto each slice, then sprinkle sugar over the strawberries.  Place back in broiler for 3-5 minutes, until sugar is carmelized.  Serve immediately.

The best part of this recipe is that not only is it extremely easy and inexpensive, but it is beautiful and presents well.  You can also use less sugar if you'd prefer. Some might want to experiment with using Splenda or another alternative sugar, but I'm not sure how that would fare under the broiler.  Also, if you do not have baguettes available, try Triscuits.

Next up in the blog hop is another great appetizer, hosted by Jeanne at The Jolly Tomato. She will be sharing the recipe for Bruschetta Hearts.

You can visit all of the other amazing recipes in this blog hop by visiting the So Cal Lady Blogger's Page.

Thanks for stopping by!

Dreaming

Do you remember the dreams you had as a child, then as a teenager, then as a young adult?  My own dreams have changed so much over the years, from wanting to be a veterinarian, to a singer, to a youth pastor, to a mom.  Before motherhood I was pretty ambitious, trying to continually work towards my goals, which led me to become a licensed minister and get my Master's Degree.  My life was going one direction, and then I became pregnant - a dream come true - but I knew my life was going to be forever changed.

For the past 6 years I have poured all of my energy into raising my boys, all the while knowing that I had changed and wondering what would come next.  I think it is good when dreams change - they kindof "evolve" over time, and as our seasons in life change, so do our dreams.  The last 2 years in particular I have wondered what God would have me do next. Was I called to focus solely on being a mom, or also pursue interests outside the home?

Six months ago I sensed that life was changing, but was unclear what the direction was.  I was about to turn 35, and in some ways it felt like I was having a mid-life crisis. I wondered if anything I had done up to that point had been effective. I wondered if I had made the right choices in life. I wondered if I had messed up somewhere and should have pursued other interests. I really wondered if I was a failure.  After becoming a mom, it seemed like all those accomplishments I had made meant nothing, and as though I had worked for....what?

This was my journal entry on June 19, 2011-
"Lord, show me what you created me to do.  Narrow my focus and give me a vision. Show me clearly what you have called me, specifically, to do.  Call me into a new season of ministry." 

On June 22nd -
"I've been praying that God would narrow my focus....A I write, I'm coming up with more ideas for articles....God, please show me what to do."

Then this-
"Hmmm....a thought.  If my only way to encourage people right now is through writing, I guess I better just write."


I won't go into the background of the statement "If my only way to encourage people right now is through writing..." because it would take hours.  But basically I felt like I had no ministry, no outlet, no direction, so all I knew to do was write.

Little did I know that God would answer that prayer only 4 days after I prayed it, but I didn't know He had answered it until 6 months later. Does that make sense?

It is now January...God has opened up multiple doors for writing and for speaking.  It was a dream inside that was pushed far back into a corner, and it is just now surfacing again.  For two years I heard of other people's dreams coming to fruition, and it discouraged me.  I wondered, "When will that happen for me?"  Although the doors opening for me would seem small to most people, to me they are huge, because they are an answer to that prayer I wrote on June 19, 2011.

I honestly don't know what will happen in the next year with this dream that started out as two words - "just write." Yet those two words provided me direction in the last 6 months that I needed.  I think a new dream is being born.

I say all of this because I know so many people who have dreams inside of them, and wonder if they've been forgotten. They wonder why God is not opening doors, and feel confused.  Last January I tried to get these doors to open, and not one door opened.  This January, the doors are being opened without me even trying. It's all about His timing.  When it's supposed to happen, it will happen.  If not, ask God to show you what to do in the meantime. For me, that meant "just write."  Maybe for you it means "just sing," or "just encourage," or "just be happy at home," or "just be patient."  But take heart, because He has not forgotten  you, and He will give you new dreams - or awaken the ones you had almost forgotten about.

Unexpected Obstacles

Last week I wrote about unexpected joys we experienced last year, in response to Simple Mom's annual "20 Questions for a New Year's Eve Reflection."  Another one of the questions she asked was "what was an unexpected obstacle you faced?" and I wanted to share a little bit about my answer to that question.

Last year started out hard, as we were entering the 2nd half of Micah's kindergarten year.  He was doing fine in school, but I was struggling with certain aspects of it that affected my health and my emotions in a big way.  Some days I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around that situation and why God would have allowed it.  I did learn that life is not all about me, but about Him.  He put people (adults) in my life through that situation that I feel were divine appointments from Him - these were people who needed to see Jesus in someone's life, and our relationships continue to this day.  That year was also fun for Micah.  True, he did not learn a lot. But if he started out his education having fun and looking forward to each day, I can be happy about that.

We are now in a new classroom with a new teacher, and we love her.  She has been amazing for Micah and I wish we could have her every year!  Through that whole experience I also learned that many hard situations are just seasons, and things will change.

Another obstacle we faced last year was from January through March.  For two months, our family was extremely sick - we dealt with 2 bouts of pneumonia and I had strep throat twice.  For almost 6 weeks I could not talk above a whisper and was laid up in bed.  I remember just crying asking God, "Why is this happening?"  Those two months held a lot of silence for me, and a lot of listening.  They were painful, but God and I had a lot of conversations that I still hold deep in my heart.

In June of 2011, I got the devastating news that my best friend's adoption had fallen through. She and her family had driven from California to Oklahoma, held their adopted newborn baby in their arms for 11 days, and then the birth mother changed her mind and took the baby back.  This was one of the biggest shocks she had ever experienced, and I felt helpless from thousands of miles away.  My heart ached for her in the deepest way, and every thought was consumed with how she was doing.  As they made the long trek home, they were welcomed home by a group of their closest friends.  During the time they were gone, we came together and redid the baby's room, putting up a "yarn tree" with colorful leaves that had Scripture promises written for them by their family and friends.  We sat in the baby's room and cried together.  It was a precious moment that I will never forget.  Another unexpected obstacle, but rich with love and mercy.

Also in June, a young single mother came into our life and into our home.  We took care of her and her son for a little while, and I worked tirelessly to find her a job and a place to live. The situation felt completely hopeless and got worse every day.  One morning I received a phone call that a family at church wanted to take her and her baby in, and she has been living there ever since. She has an amazing full-time job now and is doing well.  During those few months that we were helping her, I truly could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. Once again I was challenged to trust God, and He did not fail us.

All of these obstacles seemed like impossible mountains to climb.  None of them felt like they were ever going to end.  But again, looking back I see that everything is a season, and God is faithful to carry us through! Why do we doubt Him when He proves Himself over and over again?  Even if we feel nothing good came out of a painful situation, we know that God is always working everything together for His good, even if it is a deep, dark corner of our soul that needs healing and repair.

I don't know what obstacles 2012 will hold for us. Yet looking back at last year proves to me again that even if we face trials, they are just for a season, and God is faithful.   What is an obstacle you faced last year that taught you about God's faithfulness?

Top 10 Favorite Shows

Do you remember what your favorite television shows were when you were a kid, a teenager, and a young adult?  What are your favorite shows now?  I thought it would be fun to remember back, and take a look at how the shows we watch represent what is happening in our lives at the time.  To this day whenever I see one of these shows, I am transported back in time, and easily remember the feelings I had when I first watched it. It is funny how emotionally attached we become to shows, and how devastated we become when they end.  Here are my top 10 favorite shows (and believe me, there were many contenders for the top 10!)

Childhood (I was an 80's child) -

1. Little House on the Prairie - I was Laura for Halloween at least 5 times.

2. Avonlea- This was a show on the Disney Channel which was based on the Anne of Green Gables books. It was such a great show, and for years I wanted to name my future daughter Felicity.  (That was solidified even more when the actual show Felicity came out!)

3. Saved By the Bell - I had a huge crush on Zach.  Mario's turned out pretty nice though :)

4. The Wonder Years - You might assume that I chose my blog name based on the show, but really, I didn't.  Although I did love that show!  (The blog name was chosen after I took a picture of Micah and saw the wonder in his eyes looking up at the sky).

5. Felicity - I still think she should have chosen Noel!

6. Everwood - Incredible cast, incredible storylines. I seriously loved this show.

7. Alias - I never missed one episode of this show.  I lived vicariously through Sydney Bristow!

8. Lost - The third show I loved from JJ Abrams (Felicity and Alias were also his shows). Again, never missed an episode. We even visited the filming location when we went to Hawaii.  The series finale was LAME - anyone else agree?  (Can you tell I'm still bitter?)

9. Parenthood - Currently my favorite show on television.  Amazing cast, and amazing writers. If you have not seen this show yet, you MUST watch it.  I beg you. Stop what you are doing and watch episodes online. Then TIVO it.  You will love it.

10. Up All Night - Hilarious new comedy; makes me laugh until I cry.  If you like Up All Night, you'll love Parenthood :)

 Okay, what are your top 10 favorite shows?  I know that's a lot to think about, so leave me a comment with at least 1!

Guest Post

Check out my guest post today over at Personal Fitness Coach about Creating a Healthy Breakfast for Your Kids!

http://personalfitcoach.com/healthy-breakfast-for-kids/