Saturday, March 29, 2008

The End of an Era

This morning I woke up and realized that "Today is the Day."  Okay, okay, I know I said that about potty training last month, but this wasn't about that.  Today I gave up nursing Jaden. :(  My baby is growing up!!!  We had slowly been weaning the last two months to the point where I was only nursing him once a day for the past two weeks.  After feeding him first thing in the morning, he would cry and cry because he was still hungry.  I realized that my supply was dwindling more every day.  He is now 10 1/2 months old, so I feel like I gave it all that I had and he was ready and I was ready.  I am still a little sad about it and will miss that special bonding time, just between us.  

He is getting to be such a big boy already.  About two weeks ago he started crawling, full speed ahead.  He is getting into EVERYTHING now!!!  Now I have two boys who are into everything!  I don't know what I'm going to do!!! :)  In the morning they both wake up around 7am, and are at full energy by 7:05am.  For this girl, who is NOT, I repeat, NOT a morning person, I am trying my hardest to adjust.  Micah's favorite thing to do is jump on the bed while we are still asleep, and then go to the bottom of the bed and fall backward on us, laughing hysterically, doing it over and over until we finally wake up.  It is fun for him until he inevitably smacks Jaden in the head on accident, since Jaden is also in the bed with us because I had just nursed him.  

So, the baby stage is almost over.  It is sad to move on, but we are also looking forward to what is ahead.

Easter Reflections

Easter Sunday is probably the busiest day of the year for us because of church & ministry.  Martin is the worship leader at church, and Easter is the day that he gets to harness all of his creativity and resources to pull off our biggest service.  We rent out the Torrance Cultural Arts Center every year and typically have around 300 people, which for us, is big.  This year we merged with another great church who rents our  building on Sundays, and we combined services.  They are a lot like us in worship style and in their church culture.   This was Martin's dream day!  He had a combined worship team of about 20 people, and they covered the entire stage.  The other church's worship leader and Martin took turns leading and then backing each other up.  Martin had to get up at 5am that morning and set up the entire stage with a crew (we moved almost our entire church over to the Center, including every microphone, speaker, toddler toys, changing table - everything!)  We ended up having over 500 people there. I was so proud of my husband; he did an AWESOME job and God really moved through the service.  It was so weird seeing him up there like Chris Tomlin or something! :) 

This was also the very first year I wasn't involved in the service at ALL.  Because I have always been one of the pastor's wives, and now I am a "lay pastor", I have been heavily involved each year either in worship, backstage, overseeing the setup/tear down outside, and last year I did the announcements.  This year, I knew that with our two boys, it would just be too much.  It was a job in itself just getting them both up, dressed and ready (including myself) and out the door on time.  I was a little sad, watching everything from the background, and sitting in the service  by myself (but near friends).  At the same time, though, I was so relieved.  It was one Sunday where I actually didn't have too much on my plate.  I got to fully focus on my boys, make sure they were happy and secure in the nursery/Sunday School, and actually enjoy the service.  I realized that this is a season of my life that will end too soon, and my greatest calling right now is them.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Easter Egg Hunt!

Today we took advantage of our huge backyard and had an Easter egg hunt for Micah. He loved it!!! We stuffed about 40 eggs with his favorite snacks and little toys. He doesn't know anything about Easter being the candy day of the year, so to him, he was just so excited to get eggs filled with goldfish crackers, pretzels, raisins, and a few eggs full of M&M's. It was great! Here are some pictures...

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


Today we picked all of the lemons off of our tree. Here are some pictures!!!

Monday, March 17, 2008

Speaking Words of Love

Micah has been in speech therapy now for about 5 months. When we first sent him, he was only using daily about 10-20 words, and now he is up to about 200. It is so great watching him grow and learn new words and phrases. When Micah started speech therapy, he was not even saying "Mommy," but he began saying it the first week. My heart lept with joy the first time he said it to me. Tonight, for the first time, he said, "Wuv you" when I kissed him goodnight. What an amazing feeling! Up until now when we have said, "Love you, Micah!" he has always responded with "Da!" and we knew that meant "I love you" to him. He would also use "Da" for saying "Sorry" and "Thank you", but he has also begun to say those words as well. We know that Micah's speech delay was because of having fluid in his eardrums, and thankfully he is starting to catch up now. I am so thankful that God led us to the resources we needed and now we are able to communicate better with him. I'll never forget hearing him say "Wuv you" today!!! :)

Friday, March 14, 2008

On the Mend

On Monday I came down with something and have been down all week. I haven't been this sick in over 2 years! Sore throat, hacking cough, stuffy nose, ear aches in both ears, fever of 102, etc. I'm so glad Martin has a flexible schedule or I don't know what I would have done. Thankfully today I'm feeling a lot better. I'm just so glad that the boys are healthy - I would rather be down than have them be sick.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Pee and Vaccines, Oh My!

Ok, so we have temporarily suspended the potty-training regimen. I didn't realize how time consuming this would be! We spent 4 or 5 straight days of almost only using underwear on the boy, but out of that time he only went pee on the potty once and we cleaned up pee off the floor the rest of the time. Ugh! Some friends have recommended setting aside entire days, filling him with juice, and taking him to the bathroom every 15 minutes. We really are going to try that, but I need to psych myself up for it first. Right now, I need a little break.

Something else that has been weighing on my mind lately is the whole vaccination debate. With Micah, I read about vaccines and all of the pros and cons, and just prayed for his little body every time we went to the doctor. He always did fine. He is speech delayed by about 10 months, but we do attribute that to fluid in his ears and not any side effects from vaccinations. However, I have just been re-examining the debates lately because Jaden's 12 month appointment is in two months, where he will likely receive the "dreaded" (to many moms) MMR vaccines and the chicken pox vaccine. My doctor is kindof old-fashioned, and does not see a need to be concerned at all about vaccines, and quotes the many studies showing no correlation between MMR and autism. She does not order MMR separately as Dr. Sears book recommends, although they did say that I could have MMR and Chicken Pox done at separate appointments (mind you, that is 2 co-pays).

Anyway, I do NOT want to be a mother who lives in fear. My decisions cannot be based on fear. I do want to be educated and well-informed however, so the line there is thin. But the media puts these things in our minds so much - fear, fear, fear. And it does get to me a bit, I admit. The risks of Jaden contracting a disease from NOT getting the vaccine are greater than the likelihood of him getting autism from a vaccine. I don't like all of the vaccinations doctors give these days, that's for sure Every appointment he is getting more and more.

Yet I think of ALL of the millions of kids across the U.S. (me included) who got all of their shots and are completely fine. Well-protected, in fact!

The bottom line is, either decision can be made in fear. To not vaccinate, I can be afraid that my child could contract a disease from another child who isn't vaccinated. To vaccinate, I can be afraid that my child could suddenly show signs of autism, and then I'd probably blame myself for getting him vaccinated.

My only hope is to pray about it, and not make either decision out of fear, but COMPLETELY AND WHOLLY TRUST that God will protect my child no matter what decision I make. That whatever happens to him is not because of something I did or did not do, but rather TRUST that my little boy's life is in God's hands. I can try to protect him from many things in life, but ultimately, I need to pray God's protection over him and believe that God will do His job and let me off the hook a little!

This is just the first test of many - letting my baby go, and giving him to the Lord, just like Abraham did with Isaac. I have to be willing to give up my control of his life and realize that He is God's child, on loan to me. I will just do the best that I can.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Pee Pee!!!!

Ok, so you probably noticed that I haven't written in a few days after my big "Today is the Day" moment.  Nothing much happened on Day 2 of potty training.  Micah did NOT want to wear diapers again so we put him in underwear all day, he had 2 minor accidents, and held "it" all day until we put his diaper on at night again.  Day 3 we were gone all day out of town, so rather than putting the babysitter through toilet training torment, we put Micah in diapers all day.  But today, Day 4, Micah told us that he had to go "poo poo", ran into the bathroom and peed on himself :(  But we were getting closer!  Then, lo and behold, before lunch today, we put him on the potty, and he actually did it!!! He peed while he was sitting down!  He wasn't too happy that it sprayed on his legs (we're working on that part), but he was so proud of himself, and we made a big scene about it, clapping and shouting, "Good Job!!!"  He smiled so big and promptly held out his hand for his M&M candies that we had been promising him.  After his nap he peed in his underwear again, but at least we've made progress!!  We can really tell that he wants to go on the potty, so I know it is only a matter of time.

On another note, today I had a moment of pure joy.  Micah and Jaden have both been taking naps at the same time for the last month or so.  Micah goes down from 1-3, and Jaden from 2-3, so I often lay down with Jaden during that hour.  Today it was overcast outside and sprinkling a little, and I cozied up next to Jaden and just stared at him sleeping.  I was just filled with thankfulness and love for my boys.  I laid there and had the most perfect nap :)  I also got to thinking about how sad it is that we, as mothers, invest so much of our lives in our kids, doing so much for them, and when they are older they don't remember any of it!  (Well, almost none of it).  That made me a little sad.  I hope that somehow Micah will remember me holding him when he was only 2 years old, and have good memories of me and Martin when he is growing older.