Dear Jaden (Age 6)

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Dear Jaden,

This past week you turned 6 years old.  I keep calling you "baby".... sorry about that.  You will, though, always be my baby.

You flew through Kindergarten this year, making a ton of friends along the way.  We are so thankful that you had an easy and fun year, and I cannot believe it's almost over.

You are still the cuddler in the family - you love to sit on laps, be hugged, be held, and climb into our bed - every. single. night.  But when you wrap your arms around my neck and lay between us, we smile and let you stay, because we know you are growing fast and you won't be there forever.

One of your favorite things to do is make people laugh (although it does get you in trouble sometimes). Whether you are sticking your booty out and dancing, singing "Hey, suxy lady" (that is how you say it), or singing funny songs - you are a silly boy.

You are also very sensitive and have a very soft heart. Words affect you deeply, as does a loud voice, and we have found that the best approach with you is to be gentle and patient.  When your feelings are hurt, it can affect you all day, and it takes a lot of hugs and reassurances to help you smile again.  That shows us that you are deep, and your love for others is just as deep, too.

We are proud of the boy you are becoming, and the life and joy you bring to our family.  Your innocence is inspiring, your wonder at the world makes us stop and breathe it all in.  When you find a roly-poly and yell, "Mom, I found another Jaden-poly!" or when you see a bird outside and say, "I named him Blackie!" or when you see a friend crying and go to comfort him, we see your heart.

When you are 16 or 36 and want to remember who you were at age 6, here are a few of your favorite things:

Favorite food: Pizza
Favorite sport: Basketball
Favorite thing to do at school:  Play
Favorite color: Green
Favorite toy: Beyblades
Favorite fruit: Strawberry
Favorite TV show/ cartoon: Lego Chima
Favorite thing to eat for lunch: sandwiches (peanut butter & jelly)
Favorite clothing item: My taco shirt
Favorite thing to fall asleep with:  My dolphin pillow pet
Favorite book: Chima
Favorite game: Lego.com
Favorite animal: cheetah
Favorite song:  Gangnam Style (seriously??)
Favorite snack: Apples
Best friend: Austin
Favorite cereal:  Lucky Charms
Favorite thing to do outside: Play basketball
Favorite drink: Orange Juice
Favorite holiday: Christmas
Favorite place to visit: Legoland
Favorite Bible story: Moses & the Ten Commandments
What do you want to be when you grow up? Police man
What do you love about our family? They are nice to me
Favorite thing to do with mommy: Play basketball
Favorite thing to do with daddy: Going to 7-11 with him to get Slurpees
Favorite thing to do with Micah: Play Legos

We love you!

Read last year's post:  A letter to my 5 year old

10 Activities to do With Your Boys

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Sometimes I go to my friend's houses who have little girls, and I am in awe. The pink, the princess castles, the dress-up clothes, the crafts.... things I will likely never have in my house.  As a boy mom, my days are instead spent cleaning up Legos, race car tracks, Legos, action figures, Legos, spit, Legos and Legos.

In talking with these friends about the differences between having little boys and little girls, a few things always come up:  the abounding energy that little boys have, and their need to be outside.

It can be hard for moms to play with boys, unless you grew up as a tomboy or really into sports.  I, on the other hand, grew up wearing dresses and pretending I was Laura Ingalls Wilder or Anne of Green Gables (who both were a little tom-boyish, but I definitely wasn't), so having two boys has definitely been a learning experience.

Regardless of a mom's experience or lack-of, little boys love when their moms get on their level and play.  Here are 10 ways you can play with, and connect with, your little boy:

1) Put on superhero capes for a few hours.  In everything you do, "fly" there.  Have fun pretending that you have superpowers.  Maybe you've seen this picture floating around online - so cute!  But moms can be superheroes too!

2) Get dirty.  Go out and play in the mud with him.  Boys love to dig holes and fill them with water. It's really not all that complicated, just messy.  Let him bring a few toys outside, like small cars, and build racetracks.

3) Make racetracks inside, too.  You don't have to use cars; you can use marbles too.  Pinterest gave me the idea to cut a pool noodle in half and use it as a race-track. We had fun seeing whose marble could race the fastest.

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4) Cook with your kids.  Boys like to cook, too.  Read my tips on mess-free sugar cookie baking here.

5) Have a scavenger hunt.  It can be as simple as drawing or writing 10 items on a piece of paper, and sending them into your backyard with a bag.

6) Get active. It doesn't really matter what you do, as long as it's active.  Boys have lots of energy to spare, and I feel like my boys need to get outside for at least a few hours a day.  They love when I'm out there with them playing basketball, throwing baseballs to them, or running through the sprinklers. Sure, it's easier to watch, but they seem so much happier when I'm playing with them.

7) Find nature. Living in the city, it can be difficult to find nature.  Make an effort to find nature around you - parks, gardens, etc... When my husband and I lived in a city with little greenery (in L.A.), we decided to visit every park in the city throughout the year to find the ones we liked best.  Richard Louv has written a book called Last Child in the Woods: Saving our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder, which so aptly shares the reasons our kids need to be in nature.

8) Build. Build forts, build Legos, build castles out of cardboard boxes, build tents out of sheets, build whatever you can.  Boys love building anything.

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9) Go camping.  I know, many mom's worst nightmare. But so worth it to see their face light up at all of the camping experiences.  Even if it's for one night, your boy will always remember it.  We took our boys to Yosemite a few years ago and they still talk about it regularly, asking when we can go back.  It definitely made a lasting impression on them!

10) Read. Read with your boy - action books, Bible stories, silly books, joke books, etc...  Reading with your child is such a comforting experience for them, and helps you to be actively involved in their learning.  Reading also opens the door for so many great conversations.

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What other activities do you love to do with your son?

When Your Kids Mortify You

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Today at church I helped to co-lead a parenting class, where we talked about the "Soul Transforming Journey of Parenting," using Gary Thomas' Sacred Parenting curriculum (which is good stuff, by the way).

Five minutes after class ended, I picked up my kids from their Sunday School classes, when my 7 year old informed me that my 5 year old had just drawn a large picture of a Lego figure with the words "I'm sexy and I know it" as the caption.

Yep.  That's my boy.  Pastor's kid, class clown, leader of the children.

It was quite fitting that Gary Thomas had just talked about those scenarios in our video session, sharing how a mother was mortified by her son's bad behavior over and over in his young life.  She wrote a letter to Gary, stating, "While people may judge us by our children's actions, God judges us by our reactions to them. I needed to stop being mortified and to start being modified....At times, I actually pity those parents who have easy children. How will they ever learn these valuable lessons?"

Gary went on to share that parenting is like "God's hammer on our souls."  He is refining our character. However, so many of us spend most of our time worrying about our child's character and disciplining their actions that we miss what God is trying to do in our own lives.  What if we took a step back, and instead of pouring all of our energy into changing them, we prayed that God would change us instead?

We were also reminded that our children are watching us, and whether good or bad, they see and hear everything we do.  A friend shared that she and her husband were having a conversation late at night in their living room, talking softly, when their son (who they thought was asleep) interjected his opinion from his own room.   It reminded me of all the conversations I overheard when I was a child and how curious I was. Our children can often hear us even when we don't think they can. Let us not forget in our parenting, that it begins with us - instead of always pointing out our children's mistakes, let us remember to watch our own words and behaviors even more.

Although they see and hear our mistakes, they also see our growth.  When our first reaction is to normally yell or overreact when they mess up, I wonder what would happen if they saw us stop and speak calmly next time.  They will notice something that big.  Again, when the focus is on growing ourselves and changing our own behavior, the effect will be seen by our children.

This week, instead of being mortified by our kids, let our reaction, our behavior, our thoughts...be modified. God will work in them, but let's also allow God to work in us.

Looking Back

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I was watching him, as mothers do -  my 7 year old, full of energy and excitement, playing basketball. It is his latest sport of choice, and he is good at it.  He was having fun, throwing jabs at me and Jaden (who were playing with him), and sinking 3-pointers like nothing.  Well, we do have a short basketball hoop. But anyway...

That night he stayed up late, reading ferociously for the Read-a-Thon at school. He wants to win, so he's been reading morning, noon and night.  There have been nights when I walk into his room and he is reading in total darkness with no light on. He's fast and he's good at it.

And yet only 3 years ago, we were so worried. So, so worried. You can read all about that here, but basically, Micah had many challenges since his birth. They weren't severe challenges to most people, but they were enough to make us worry a lot, cry, and worry some more.

From being told he might be autistic or have Aspergers - one well-meaning person even said we should have him tested for AIDS because he got sick so much - we just didn't know what was going on. His speech delays, his surgery for tubes in his ears, his rough start in Kindergarten; it was all very overwhelming.  I feared it might never get better.

But it did.

He is healthy, he is strong, he is right on target - actually, ahead in some areas of math and reading in his second grade class; I'm sure most people would never guess the challenges we had faced just a short time ago.

I remember being worried about a bruise on his forehead that wouldn't go away, about his teeth when he fell off of our front porch, about his face being split when he fell into a bench and ended up in the ER.  So many worries, so many tears.

And yet he is fine. He is growing, he is healthy, he is strong.

Today I am thanking the Lord for progress. When you're in the thick of it, it can seem so overwhelming, and progress can feel so incredibly slow.

I talk to other moms who are in the thick of it with their kids. They are worried that their child is falling behind academically or socially, or is not "right on target." They stress and buy things and get second opinions and worry; and I know, because I have been there.

There likely will be more occasions in our kids' lives to worry and fret over progress, over learning issues, over grades, over bruises and broken bones.  But today you might just need to hear "don't worry, it will be okay." Because it will.

When you're baby has jaundice, is not breastfeeding well, spikes a high fever, has acid reflux...

When your toddler is not walking according to schedule, gets sick a lot, is not talking like the other kids...

When your preschooler bites another child, throws a tantrum in public, or you are told she is not ready for Kindergarten...

All of it can be very stressful. We worry about their future, and we don't want them to struggle. But struggle is good, because it will make them stronger.

Take it from me, I have a very strong boy.

From someone who has crossed over through the newborn, baby, toddler, preschool era into a new phase, believe me when I say that so many of the things we worry about will never come to pass. Our only hope is to put our faith and trust in God during those times that feel scary.  Love them the best you can, and one day you'll be able to look back too and breathe a huge sigh of relief.

Until then, breathe in... It will all be okay.

A Letter to All Mothers

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Sometimes, at the end of the day, all of our mistakes pile upon our heads. They leave us feeling guilty and alone, like a failure.  All of us have days like that - some of us have weeks and months like that.  It is in those moments, in the quietness of the house, that we can become our worst enemies.  We so desperately long for someone to come alongside us and see us, to hear us, to know us.

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We know that He is there, that He sees, that He knows, but we don't feel it.  And sometimes we just need to feel Him there.

So tonight, if you need a friend, this is what I would say to you:

To the mom who is feeling alone tonight...
   You are not alone. You can do this.  We are here.  We are all in this together.

To the mom who is exhausted and just trying to find 5 minutes to herself...
    You are amazing.  Just breathe. Know that you are loved.

To the mom who is worried about her child...
     God knows. He sees. He has not left you alone. He will guide you.

To the mom who feels guilty...
     Tomorrow is a new day. Give yourself grace.  There are no perfect mothers.

To the mom who wants to give up....
     This is hard. You feel like a failure, but you're not.  His grace is sufficient.

To the mom who feels unseen....
     We see you- the community of mothers.  Your hard work may go unnoticed by tiny hands, but it      does not go unnoticed by the hands who created you.

To the mom who is angry...
     Your feelings matter. This test will not last forever. You are loved.


What is something you wish someone would say to you?

Creating a Loving Environment

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This is February, the month focused on love and Valentine's Day, on heart-shaped pancakes and notes in lunch boxes, on conversation hearts and lollipops.

Yet when our children come home from their Valentine's Day parties, do they come home to houses full of love?  Or houses full of fear, of strife, of anger, of busyness?

When our children are first born, we pour so much of our energy into helping them feel warm and safe and secure.  Yet as they get older and we feel overwhelmed, we can unknowingly create environments that no longer feel loving and welcoming.

This month I am asking myself the question: "How can I create a more loving environment in my home?"

I believe it starts with me.

Am I patient?  Am I loving?  Am I kind?  Not just with my kids, but with my husband? Not just with my husband, but with my neighbor?  Not just my neighbor, but with that person on the freeway?  They are watching and learning from me - and they will only know love to the measure that I model it for them.

Am I creating a loving environment when I'm on the phone?  When I'm on the computer and they're pulling me away for the 213th time?

Am I creating a loving environment with my words, or is my tone filled with frustration that my child is bothering me again?

We can decorate, we can make special breakfasts, we can put cute notes in their lunch. We can make cupcakes for their parties and help them with their Valentines Day cards. We can tuck them in at night, and kiss them on the forehead - but at the end of the day, have we loved them well?  

I am reminded of I Corinthians 13: "If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."

It is not easy to love well, to love selflessly - and I have no hope of being that mother apart from Christ. But I can start today to intentionally work towards ridding my home of negative words and actions and replacing them with patience and love.

If you are struggling in these areas today, I'd like to recommend a devotional to you that I have found to be very encouraging.  In it, the author specifically uses the example of a mother trying to overcome anger and frustration with her children, and guides the reader through a 21 day journey of changing the way we think and act. It is one of the best devotionals I have read thus far, and right now it is FREE for your Kindle! Check it out by clicking on the graphic below:

The Prescription for Good Children

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This morning I was sitting with a dear friend, sipping coffee while our children played, and we were talking about motherhood.   She made a difficult decision lately regarding her child's schooling, and has struggled on both ends of the decision.  Ultimately we agreed that often as mothers, we start comparing our children to other people's children, and we start trying to figure out what the "prescription" is for having a good child, and we try to emulate what other people are doing.  The problem is, what seems right for them may not be what's right for us.

This comparison trap seems to start when we're first pregnant and we compare ourselves to other pregnant moms (weight gain, cuteness factor, whether or not they eat lunchmeat or tuna while pregnant...you know, important things like that).  Then it moves to the birthing stage, where we compare birthing stories ("Ohhhh, you had to have a c-section? I'm sorry.....I had my baby on my living room floor" and things like that). Then it moves to the newborn stage ("my baby is 6 days old and can hold his head up high!")  and with each stage of mothering, it only seems to get worse.

At some point we start comparing our kids behavior, and trying to find the "key factors" that make good kids or bad kids. And that's where we get all messed up.  We see another person's well-behaved child and try to figure out what that parent is doing right and what we're doing wrong. Only there is no prescription for good children (really, there isn't), and we feel like a failure when our child seems worse than our friend's child.  We wonder if a certain prescription is the answer - more prayer?  Having them memorize verse?  Homeschooling them?  Staying home full-time?  Reading a certain parenting book?

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If we have a well-mannered child, we can also falsely concur that it is our stellar parenting skills that got them that way, and we can dish out advice in our head to all the "other" parents out there.  I admit, I have done it before, and my kids aren't even perfect.  We all do it at times, because we all have pride in our hearts.

So, in our quest to be the best parents and have the best children on the block, we can inadvertently take way too much credit for something that only God can do.  A child's heart is His, and He will move in their hearts despite our best efforts or greatest failures.  He is the author of their hearts, whichever school they go to or whatever friends they have.  He is the One who can change hard behavior through the Holy Spirit, when we have done everything humanly possible and failed.

We can do our part, but we have to be careful not to take too much credit for what only He can do.  Another friend was telling me how another mom called her and said, "On my sons 4th birthday, he accepted Jesus into his heart!" and it wasn't so much excitement that she was sharing, as it was almost a "dig" at the other mother, like a way to compare the two boys. It was a way of trying to take credit for something only God did.

We can also take credit for our kid's behavior based on the choices we have made as parents, giving pride a foothold, silently judging others, assuming that their kids would be better if they had made the same choices.  

I'm not saying that we should just give up or throw in the towel and be horrible parents.  I'm not saying to NOT make educated, wise choices about who our children are with, what school they go to, what shows they watch, etc... All of those are influential on our children. But let's be careful that we're not taking too much credit for the state of their hearts - something that only God can mold and change.  Let's be careful that if He has blessed us with good children, that we are not judging other people who don't have it all together.  Let's be careful that we are not patting ourselves on the back too much for things He should be getting all the credit and glory for.  Because if there were a prescription for good parenting, only God knows what it is - and what it is for one parent might be drastically different than another.  

Mommy-Guilt

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Things didn't end well tonight.  The amount of strong will in a 4-going-on-14 year old is amazing, to say the least.  He was tired, I was tired.  He was disobeying, I was growing frustrated.  So he got in trouble.  He fought me, I took away his favorite toy.  He threw his blankets off the bed.  I raised my voice.  He yelled through tears of frustration. After almost an hour of a power struggle, finally there was quiet, but I knew he went to sleep with tears in his eyes.  I collapsed on the couch, feeling defeated.

When I went to check on him later, he looked so peaceful, so still, so perfect.  And that is when the waves of guilt washed over me.  I wanted to hold him, to say "I'm sorry," to tell him it will all be alright.  I wanted to whisper in his ear that even when we disagree, it doesn't change my love for him.  For a moment I imagined what life would be like if something happened to him, and the grief was so strong that I had to stop the thought before it even finished.

So he sleeps soundly, and the scene re-plays itself over and over in my mind.

"You're a bad mom!" I hear.
"You are so impatient with him!" I cringe.
"You are going to scar him for life!" I want to run and hide.

My thoughts are my own worst enemy. This mommy-guilt... it is overpowering, it cripples, it blinds.  If I let it, it will destroy me.

And so I have a decision to make - to wallow in the guilt that only mother's know, or choose to accept God's grace for me.  I decide to receive the grace, and for a few moments I let it wash over me.  It feels cold and uncomfortable.  This grace is something so hard to receive that I try to reject it, and let the thoughts overtake me once again.  Yet He keeps pouring it out, over and over.  I fight it, then it comes again. I fight it, it comes again. And again, and again...His grace.. until I am sound asleep.

Tomorrow is new.

The Last Day

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He woke me up early, foot in my face.  Our 4 year old had climbed into bed with us again.  I was tired and not looking forward to the day.  Maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or maybe it was just weeks of tiredness catching up with me, but I knew I would need coffee this morning.

As my husband took our older son to school, I was left home with Jaden, wondering what we would do all day.  You see, on the days when he is not in preschool, those can be some of the longest days.  It's not that I don't enjoy being with him; I am so thankful for each day I can stay home with him, but he is one child who does not like to play alone.  On the days he is home, I can't get anything done.

I sit at the breakfast table, still waking up, hair all a mess and not saying much.  He jumps up and down and says, "Today is my fun day, mommy!"  I smile, but inside I am thinking of the many things I have to do.  Today is the day I need to clean my office, balance the checkbook, make 4 phone calls, schedule the carpet cleaning, run 2 errands, and so much more. I sigh.

"Play Legos with me, mommy!"  It has begun.  I'm not a very good Lego builder, and the office is calling my name.  I think about it for awhile, sipping my coffee slowly.  I watch him play, waiting for me.  Then it hits me - today is a special day.

Today is the day he is 4 years, 323 days old.  Never again will he be 4 years, 323 days old.  Today is the last day he will be 4 years, 323 days old.

Next month he turns 5. He will never again be 4 years, 323 days old.

In September he starts Kindergarten. He will be gone 5 days a week, 6 hours a day.  I will miss him so much.  I will miss his hugs, his kisses, his laughter.  The house will be too quiet, and I will cry.

He will never again be 4 years, 323 days old.

Next April, he will be ending 1st grade.  He will start to need me a little less.  I will miss him so much.  He is getting bigger.

He is growing fast, and each day he is slipping a little farther away.

Today is a special day, because he is 4 years, 323 days old.  This is the last day he will be that old.

So we play Legos.

Then he wants to play baseball in the back yard.

The office calls my name, but I ignore it.

He asks if we can go to the park to play ball, since he can't hit the hard balls in our backyard.  He gets so excited that I find him sitting in the car, all buckled up.

We play baseball at the park, where he exclaims, "You don't pitch very well, mommy!"

We drive home, and he says, "Ask me my high/low, mommy!"  I ask him and he says, "My high was playing baseball at home, and then at the park with you, and then having snack.  My low was eating breakfast."

I'm glad I was a part of his "high" today, because the day is not even half over.  For the past 4 hours, we played together, because today is a special day.  Today is the day he is 4 years, 323 days old.

We will go on to play more today, and the office will have to wait.

For he will go back to preschool in just a few days, but today he is with me.  Happy 4 year, 323rd day of your birth, special boy.

Sing.

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I made myself a Christmas gift today. It cost $2.

I purchased a photo frame pendant from Joann's and, instead of a photo, I wanted to put a word inside. Recently I was given a huge box of old sheet music, so I searched for just the right word to put inside of the frame.  The word I chose was "Sing."

Today I did not feel like singing. It was one of those Mom Days.  You know... "Mommmyyyyyyy!!!" attached to lots of crying and whining.

There are blogs out there that make you feel like a failure as a mother, because they portray life as perfect and fine and dandy, and you wonder what in the world you are doing wrong.  I really hope this blog doesn't make you feel that way. I have always tried to be honest about things, how hard being a mom is, how my boys drive me nuts sometimes, and how there are days I just want to stay in bed with the covers over my head.  Today was that day.

I seriously feel like my boys don't want to have fun. Ever.  Both of them hate doing fun things, and I'm not kidding.  Go to a theme park?  Chances are, they'll cry about it.  Go to a birthday party?  They will definitely moan about it and then not participate at all.  Go to a park?  No thanks!  Go to a fun store with mommy?  Yeah, right!  Do a craft?  Oh please!  What are we doing wrong here?  I feel like they came out of the womb with a "just leave me alone" sign strapped to their heads.

After school is just the best part of the day. Micah comes home, and the boys begin getting all of their pent up anger out for the entire day.  They chase each other around the house, one screaming and the other crying.  Someone inevitably runs into a wall and gets hurt, and then tries to hit the other one for making him run into that wall.  For 2 hours I am basically trying to calm them down.  After about 18 time-outs, they usually end up sitting on their bed until dinner time.  Fun times, people!

Tonight there were tears about the bath not being long enough, about what pajamas to wear, about the fact we were only reading 2 books instead of 3, about wanting more food to eat, and on and on.

What in the world does this have to do with my necklace, you ask?

For one thing, I think we mothers need to do nice things for ourselves once in awhile. Even if they only cost $2.

Secondly, we need something that will always remind us to have perspective.  Yes, today was a bad day.  I should still find something I can sing about.  I know that tomorrow after school will likely have challenges.  How can I find something to sing about in that time?  I'm not trying to be unrealistic - I'm just trying to not kill myself sometimes.  (Not really, don't freak out).  And that necklace?  Well, today I kept grabbing it with my hand and just holding it.  Jesus is the real one who calms me down, but that necklace somehow helped me to stay focused today.

In every moment, I need to find something that I can sing about - even if it is just, "Help me, Lord Jesus!"

The Jesse Tree

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Each year I'm looking for creative ways to share the Christmas story with the boys, and I'm so excited about what I found this year. I will be up ALL night tonight preparing for it, but it will be worth it! This is one of those things that will be able to be used for years to come, and maybe even passed down from generation to generation.

I got this idea from Ashley at The Creative Place. I googled "Mini Advent Book" and came across her blog, which is amazing!   She created this cute Mini Advent Book for her kids, and last night I got started on it myself.

http://www.thecreativeplace.blogspot.com/

Unfortunately, my envelopes are not turning out as cute as hers! :)

In the process of creating the envelopes for that project, I emailed her last night and she said she is updating the advent book to include the verses from The Jesse Tree. I first heard about The Jesse Tree last year from Ann Voskamp's blog A Holy Experience.  However, when I tried to print out the downloadable book, I didn't have enough toner for the 68 pages, and the content seemed way over my 3 and 5 year old's heads, so we didn't end up using it.

Ashley and I were writing about this dilemma and she referred me over to this blog, where the author had simplified the Jesse Tree for younger children.  Ashley had a great idea to incorporate the two ideas (the mini advent book & the Jesse Tree), and a new idea was born!

Now I'm working all night to finish the envelopes and stuff them with the Scriptures used from The Jesse Tree blog.  Each reading also has a corresponding ornament, so guess where I'm headed tonight? I'm going to be the crazy lady at Joann's at 9:30pm!

In addition to reading the boys a Scripture passage each night and putting a special ornament on the tree, we're also going to continue a tradition we started last year.  I have an old Starbucks advent-calendar "tree" that has 25 boxes. When all of the boxes are turned over, it makes a cute picture.

In each of the boxes I put a fun activity that we will do each day during the month of December.  My problem is going to be coming up with 25 different activities!! (Enter PINTEREST).

I think those two projects are going to keep me busy for awhile.  Thanks to Ashley at The Creative Place and Catherine at Our Jesse Tree for the great ideas!

The Worst Parents of the Year Award

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It seemed like a good idea at the time...

It was Labor Day, we didn't have any plans, but we wanted to get out of the house.  One idea we had was to go on a beach hike, since there are various locations around us where you can take paths down towards the beach to explore tidepools, etc...  I hopped online and found 2 hikes we could go on, both leading towards some tidepools.  The first hike we had done before, and it was pretty strenuous and steep, so we opted for option #2.  Option #2 was called the "Shipwreck Hike."  Based on the reviews, about half of the people said it was fun and adventurous, while the other half said it was horrible and to NOT attempt it.  I went to Martin with the reviews in hand, and we decided that we would take a risk and do it anyway.

Dumb.  Dumb, dumb, dumb.

We got there and I jumped out of the car, ran down the trail and took a look.  Many of the reviews said to take the "drainpipe route" since it was 2 miles shorter, went straight downhill, and the shipwreck remains were only about a half mile from the bottom.  I had a bad feeling right when I stood at the top, and asked Martin to take a look.  We decided together that we would be adventurous and do it anyway.

Now, from this vantage point, it doesn't look too bad.

Sure, it's steep, but we could do it.  But this was a looooonnnngggg way down.  Pictures just don't do it justice, people.  Here's another view.

It pretty much felt like a straight drop down to our deaths.  Why didn't we turn around and head back up?  Because we were determined.  We slowly made our way over crumbling rocks and glass shards, all the way down.  I did not know why we were doing this, but every time I turned around and looked back up the hill, I knew that I did NOT want to climb back up.  About half way down, I started to have a panic attack. Every single step that my children took, I worried for their lives.  I actually cried at one point, hiding it behind my sunglasses.  I prayed for forgiveness. I prayed for mercy. I prayed for help. I prayed that we would live.  Martin was confident, though, and we just kept telling the boys, "we're almost there!" with fake smiles on our faces.

Finally after over 30 minutes, sweating and dirty, we made it to the bottom.  This was the second time I cried. I couldn't believe we made it. Our nightmare continued, though, as we had to step over large and small boulders alike, tip-toeing across them so that we did not break our ankles.  Micah kept crying, "I hate this hike! I want to go home!"  But we were determined to see this shipwreck that we had worked so hard to get to.

We hiked, and hiked, and hiked.  We only ran across 1 couple, who passed us and looked at us like we were crazy.  Because we were crazy (see the arrow right by the tiny people?  That's how far we had walked from the hill of death, through clouds of sand flies and stench from the seaweed).

The only thing interesting that we came across was a bum-hut made by other people who had attempted the impossible.

Oh, and the shipwreck?  Well, this was all we saw of it.

Yeah, that's because the REAL shipwreck remains were another 1/2 mile to a mile AWAY from where we were!  (see arrow)

And from what I had read, there wasn't much left.

So, after much crying from everyone involved, and sand flies all over our faces, we turned around to head back up the hill.  (Insert sobs here)

Seriously, these pictures make it look like it's a piece of cake.  But we made it back up with many rest stops, and much comforting of a very mad 6 year old.

Jaden was the only one who enjoyed himself, finding treasures along every step of the way.  Thankfully nobody got hurt, until we made it to the very top of the mountain and Jaden took off running towards the car. He fell flat on his face in the dirt, scraped up his hand, and cried a lot.  At the top of the hill, we saw a cop sitting behind our car. I was sure someone had probably called the cops on us for taking our kids on such a dangerous hike.  He left us alone and we drove away.

We awarded ourselves the "Worst Parents of the Year" award and left that dreadful place, never to return.  Labor Day will forever be etched in my mind as the day we almost died. Or I almost died. Of a panic attack.

So, what's your "Worst Parent of the Year" story?  :)

A Longing to Influence

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Technology can be a beautiful thing.  It can also be a very discouraging thing.  It is beautiful because it allows us to keep in touch with people and even get to know people that we'd have no way of staying in contact with otherwise.  It is discouraging for hundreds of reasons, but one being that when you are a stay-at-home mom, you see what everyone else is doing and you feel like...a nobody.

I follow various women leaders online.  Leaders who are doing amazing things.  Many of them are raising families at the same time they are spreading the love of Christ with the world.  Women like:

-Christine Caine- leader of Equip and Empower Ministries
-Lysa TerKheurst- author and speaker
-Jo Saxton- director of 3D ministries, speaker and author
-Beth Moore- teacher extraordinnaire
-Kay Warren- raising awareness about adoption and the HIV/AIDS crisis through her ministry.
-Lori Wilhite- leading a ministry to women leaders and pastor's wives called "Leading and Loving It"

Almost daily, through technology, I am hearing about these amazing ministries and women behind them.  They are changing lives through their home offices, through their blogs, through their speaking engagements....and I think, "How I long to do that! How I long to be used by God to change lives!"  Indeed, I would love someday to write a book, and be called upon to speak to the masses, not for my own glory, but because lives need changing, people need encouraging, and young women need older women to look up to.

Yet when I think of all the needs out there, I get overwhelmed.  I have such a heart for:

-training and developing leaders
-raising up women in ministry
-encouraging young ladies
-the orphans
-sex trafficking
-babies and children who are abused
-kids in the foster care system
-moms who need encouragement

I'm also reminded that right now, in my own backyard, is a need for a mother's group, specifically to ages 5+ (MOMS Next, perhaps).  Right now, in my own backyard, is a need for a network of women in ministry.  Right now, in my own backyard, are kids who need foster homes.  Yet I feel overwhelmed by what's going on in my own house - my low patience for my own two children (ages 4 and 6) who require my time and energy right now.  I get lost in a fog of all of the needs out there, and sink deeper into my couch wondering if I'll ever really be able to do anything to help.  I lose motivation fast when I look at the pile of laundry on my left and the mess of toys on my right.  I wonder if I'll ever be able to start anything, when I can't even finish a sentence without being interrupted.  (Even as I sit here typing, the boys are playing with toys on my desk giving me little room to move my arms) :)

Writing, speaking, traveling, starting things up....all areas my heart beats for, yet I feel the needs at home so strongly.  I struggle with comparing myself to these great women who are able to balance it all and do what they love.  For some reason I haven't been called to do that...yet.

Maybe you are like me, frustrated at times, trying to stay faithful to what's been given you, and praying for direction.  I have to remember that "the need is not always the call."  I also need to examine my own motives - why do I want to do these things?  For personal recognition?  To help people out of my own selfish needs or insecurities?  Because if that is in my heart at all, then I hope the doors will close for me.

For now, I pour my heart into the young girl who was in my home last week - who is a single mother struggling to keep her head above water.  I pour my heart into another young girl who is seeking for a mentor.  I pour my heart into the people I run into at the grocery market, and my neighbors, and the moms of the kids in my son's class.  I pour my heart into my own kids, and especially into my husband, so that he can minister more effectively.

I have to believe that these seasons serve a great purpose; that God is doing heart-surgery to refine things in us that would otherwise fester.  And I have to be okay with the fact that this is all I might end up doing, and that's okay.  God didn't call most of us to be well-known, or write books, or travel the world and speak.  In fact, most of the time He calls us to lay down our greatest desires so they won't become greater than our desire for Him. So for now, I wait.  I am reminded that God doesn't call us to be like other people; He calls us to be faithful to Him.

What does your heart beat for?

I Love My Boy

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Micah.

(age 2)

When he was born, we were debating between names.  It was either going to be James, Nathan or Micah.  He came out and the nurse said, "He is vigorous!"  We took one look at him and knew that, although we loved the first two names, they were just too "soft" sounding for our vigorous boy.  Micah means, "Who is like God," or "Gift from God."  We chose his middle name, Nathaniel, meaning "God has given."  But I'll get back to that in a minute.

Micah's life started out with some complications.  The complications weren't huge (although he was), and although I hoped and prayed for a natural birth, I had to have a c-section.  He was born on June 24, 2005 at 9 lbs, 7 oz.

He had jaundice, and they took him away from me for 24 hours and put him in the nursery under the bilirubin lights.  I was heartbroken, to put it mildly, and sobbed heaving sobs, missing him as though he had been ripped from my arms.

He got sick a lot as a baby.  Numerous ear infections, 104-105 degree fevers, coughs...you name it.  He was prescribed 12 antibiotics in one year, making him develop antibiotic resistance.  Blood tests could not determine why he was getting sick so much, and he was exclusively breastfed, meaning he should not have been sick very much at all.  But the rules didn't apply to our boy.

At 2 1/2 we could tell he was speech delayed, and went through a rigmarole of tests to figure out why.  A psychiatrist used the word "autistic," but we knew that in this case, she was wrong. She then downgraded it to "asperger's syndrome," but we knew that wasn't right either.  Many, many tears were shed.

After more illnesses, we took him to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist who diagnosed him with enlarged tonsils and adenoids, and said he'd had fluid in his ears for over a year, which had caused the speech delay.  Finally, some answers.  Then surgery.  The hardest day of our lives thus far.  He was so scared, that he fell asleep on Martin's shoulder as they took him back to the room for sedation.  Then he woke up on the table, screamed and reached for Martin, and Martin had to walk away.  Our hearts broke again.

Years passed, and he started getting better.  His speech improved.  He graduated speech therapy.  Finally things were getting easier. Then came Kindergarten.  What started out as a year of hope turned into a year of frustration, as he has faced numerous issues in his class environment.  Another struggle, another year of tears.

Today we went in for a routine dentist visit, with a new pediatric dentist who I found (after hours of reading reviews on the internet).  We have a lame HMO dental plan; pretty much the worst available, yet the reviews of her were mostly positive (except for one where she diagnosed a kid with 10 cavities who was later found to have none).  We had a negative experience today; she was not gentle, was rushed and he cried a little.  I sat in that chair watching him for an hour and a half, thinking, "Why can't something be easy for my boy, just for once?"  She came back with the x-rays: 8 cavities, one mini root-canal, and one crown needed.   Um, come again???  (I should specify that they are between the crowded molar teeth, so they are affecting 4 sets of the same top/bottom teeth - likely from not being able to floss well that far back)

We have worked hard to keep our boys away from sugar and juice, no milk at night before bed, brushing twice a day (by us) and flossing.  I was shocked and in tears.  She recommended that he be put under anesthesia for all the work to be done at once, which would be somewhere in the ballpark range of $1200 just for the anesthesia, not to mention all the work that needs to be done. Did I mention we don't charge things like this on credit cards?  Again, "why can't something be easy for my boy, just for once?"

( Micah's first dentist appointment at age 2)

I went online to research something and saw all the judgments against parents whose kids have cavities. Everyone blames the parents, which is sad.  In my family, everyone has soft teeth and it really does seem to have a genetic aspect.  So, I'm prepared for the judgments but disappointed too; in other words, I won't be posting about this on Facebook.  (Only here on my blog, where I know you all show only love, right???)

Tonight I'm thinking of all we've been through with Micah in his 5 short years.  It is in stark contrast to Jaden, who has hardly had any issues at all.  Yet Micah is strong, and so good for the doctors and the dentist, and we are so proud of him.  He did not complain at all today.  He said "thank you" to the dentist even after she made him cry.

Somehow, even before our boy was 10 minutes old, we could tell he was vigorous.  He is a fighter, and he is strong-willed, yet I see the benefits on days like this.  He would go through a lot and would need to be strong.  It hurts my heart to see him have to go through pain, yet he teaches me so much through it.  He is truly my "gift from God."

On another note, we have seen him grow leaps and bounds in the past month or so.  He has started reading and is flying through small books (of mostly 3-4 letter words, mind you, but still so exciting!).  He is coloring like a pro and we even see a little artist coming out of him.  He is one smart cookie.  I love my boy so much, and I hope one day things can be a little easier for him too.

Finding Purpose

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I have been talking to more and more moms (mostly those who stay at home), who are struggling with their sense of purpose. If you have chosen to give up your career and stay at home, maybe you identify with this.

At our old jobs, we were good at what we did.  We felt like we were accomplishing something when a deadline was met, customers were pleased, and goals were achieved.  We had tangible rewards, such as a paycheck, a raise, or an award.  Even at a difficult job, getting paid was a motivator to keep coming to work each day.

At home, it can be a different story.  There's no paycheck calling your name. Maybe you feel like you rarely do anything right.  You work hard to clean, but the room is destroyed 10 minutes later. You have half-finished projects lying around. Bills are lost in piles of papers. You haven't even had time to put your makeup on. After a few days, then a few months, then a few years of this, it is easy to see why mothers can get discouraged and feel lost. Many of these moms I have spoken with feel confused, sad, and bored.

There are some moms who seem to be so good at what they do, and it comes so natural to them. Yesterday I was talking to a good friend about her new life with three girls under age 3. She exclaimed, "I love, love, LOVE motherhood!" Indeed, she finds her greatest fulfillment in staying home with her girls, and it seems to flow easily from her very core.  I do love motherhood, but staying home has been one of the most difficult aspects of it for me.  I wouldn't trade it or change it, but it has forced me to work on every single weakness that I have, every minute of every day.

It's not that we would give up our lives, or don't love our children, or aren't thankful for the opportunity to stay at home. Yet if our identity was in our job, our accomplishments, or our degrees, it is hard to make that "shift" in our thinking to realize that our children are now our job and our accomplishment - especially when we are dealing with simultaneous meltdowns in Target while judging eyes are watching.

So how do we find a new identity as a stay-at-home mom? For awhile, I joined outside mommy-groups, which were a life-saver to me. I made new friends, got involved in leadership, and felt a sense of purpose. Yet when it came time to move on, I was again faced with that question, "What do I do now? Who am I?" In other words, how do you find your identity when you are not in a position of influence outside your home, yet that is what you enjoy so much?

I truly believe that God leads us into seasons of influence, and seasons of rest. We are always called to influence our children, yet many of us long for more. We read of other moms getting to do what they love, and we want that, too. Yet we are day-after-day stuck inside of our houses folding laundry and doing chores, yearning for the day we can chase after our passions once again.

It is during these seasons of rest that we find out who we really are. Do we have a true relationship with God apart from what we do for Him? Do we seek Him as much when we're not in a position of influence? Do we still get fed spiritually when we're discouraged, or just give up?  Our true character comes out.  We are put to the test with our patience, our love, our forgiveness, our anger.  We get frustrated easily. We cry. We lose it.

Yet here is something that I have learned over these six years:  this season of me staying home is not only about my children's character development - it is about my character development.  It is about me becoming more like Christ and experiencing my weaknesses to their full measure, and watching Christ use me, love me, and forgive me despite myself.  I want to run, and get out of this house, and find fulfillment outside of these 4 walls.  Yet God keeps calling me back in.  "I'm not done yet," He says.  "It's not time yet," He whispers.  My heart grows impatient, but He does not grow impatient with me.

It is tempting to focus on all we are not getting to do.  I struggle with this every day, because I am a do-er.  I get energized when I have a deadline to meet or a goal to accomplish.  Here, I don't have any big looming deadline or goal that propels me forward, and so I can easily get depressed and bored.  The other day, though, I had a small revelation.  Instead of focusing on the larger picture of my life, and all that I am not getting to do right now as I stay home (besides have an eternal impact on my children), I will try to just stay focused on today.  Today a friend called who needed me, and I was able to encourage her.  If I didn't accomplish anything else, today that was my purpose.  Yesterday I spent time in prayer for someone else.  If I didn't accomplish anything else, that was my purpose yesterday.  Somehow that perspective is keeping me going, helping me to move forward.

We all know that this is "just a season."  Yet there is still purpose in this season. That purpose is your children, but it is also YOU.  Welcome to your purpose - God is changing you day by day.

A Mama's Song

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   He calls me for the 369th time today - "Mommy!  Mommy!"
I cringe
   I just sat down, and had barely sighed.
Maybe if I just pretend I don't hear it this time...
   But it doesn't work.   He persists.
I drag my heavy legs over to the room and find a new mess.
   A new crisis, a new chore.

They told me to treasure these days,
  And I laughed inside my head.
They said they would fly by,
  And I secretly rolled my eyes.
For they don't see the long and tiring days.
  They must not remember
that they go by so slow, and feel so long.

  He runs the other way when I call.
My throat hurts from the reminding, the admonishing,
  The warnings.
Maybe if I just don't say anything this time....
  But I can't not speak up
For it is his safety and his very life
  that I have been entrusted with.

They told me to hold him tight
  For one day he would run
But he's running now, and for just a minute
  I want a little break
They said he would run right out the door
  and not look back, one day
But it's hard to see that far ahead
  and so for now I let him go.

He wants me to sleep with him, again.
  He begs and cries, and I cannot resist.
So I snuggle in close and he wraps his arms around me
  And all I can think about it everything I have to do
"When can I get up?"  I wonder
  And I hear his breathing grow heavier
His eyelids finally close
  I'm left holding this little life
And I realize

The time is slipping away
  and this is all I have
He will one day run
  But for now he's this close
I can hear his breath, I can feel his heart
  And my tiredness doesn't fade
But my love grows more and more

They told me to treasure the days
  They said they would fly by
They told me to hold him tight
  They said one day he'd run out the door.

But for now he is this close
  And I will hold him closer still
I will remember to cherish this night
  Because the days are flying by.

Wonder

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Super Bowl Sunday.  I was in bed, sick, and woke up 3 minutes before the half-time show.  Awesome timing, if I do say so myself :)  We stayed home all day, took naps, and watched the commercials.  It wasn't a party, but it was relaxing and good.  I heard this was the most popular commercial on Super Bowl Sunday.



Is it just me, or did this commercial make you want to cry happy-tears?  Why do we love it so much?


I think we love it because it depicts the best part of childhood - Wonder.  Wonder is what makes our children's faces light up with joy when something magical happens.  Wonder is what makes their eyes twinkle with excitement.  Wonder is what makes their eyes stay open when they're so tired.  Wonder is what makes life fun for children.

I saw wonder in Jaden's eyes this morning, as he looked down into the heater grate and saw two of his legos.  "I think we're going to have to ask Feivel the mouse for some help tonight Jaden!"  "YEAH!" He replied excitedly.  "We can ask him to get the legos out for us while we're sleeping!"

I saw wonder in his eyes when he woke up this morning and came out of his room wearing a Transformer mask on his face, his knight amour, and holding his Batman gun.

I saw wonder in Micah's eyes when he woke up one morning recently and saw that the Tooth Fairy had left him 2 gold coins under his pillow.

Wonder is the BEST.

Somehow as we get older, we lose that wonder.  But it's not hard to find again if we try.  We can find wonder when we glance out our kitchen window and see a hummingbird feeding on a flower.  We can find wonder when someone calls to encourage us, when we were feeling down that day.  We can find wonder in an answered prayer, in a clean house, in a quiet moment while our kids are (finally) sleeping.

It's easier to find wonder when we're walking in daily communion with God.  When I'm not, I cease to find the wonder.  Instead I find bills, endless chores, cranky children, a car that needs repairs, a diaper that needs to be changed.  When I'm walking in communion with God, I find myself more thankful for the little things that happen throughout the day. They may be small, but they are gifts from Him to me.  And in those small gifts, I find wonder again.

The Blessing of Sickness

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Tonight we went out as a family for the first time in a month.  It probably wasn't the best idea - I have a second case of strep throat and Jaden is still recovering from a double ear infection, but we had no food in the house and were on the hunt for dinner.  We ended up at the mall for some Chik Fil A and discovered they were about to start their monthly kids' show, where almost 100 kids showed up to watch a bubble show.  As my boys sat on the carpet with their daddy, I watched as they laughed and stared in amazement at the bubbles.  After a month of being inside from various bouts of illnesses, this was the first time we've all been together outside where I saw their smiles return, and it was so nice.  I ended up drinking the end of Martin's Coke Zero, which is why I'm wide awake at 12:29am and will likely suffer for this tomorrow!  Oh well - it was worth it.

This past month has made me quite introspective, as lying on a bed with a fever for days on end will do to a person.  Coupled with the inability to speak from strep throat, I have been quieter than ever before and it was probably good for everyone. :)

What has stood out to me this month is that when you are alone on your bed, left with only your thoughts, you start thinking about who and what are really important in your life. I saved my voice for only those who I cared the most about - my family and close friends.  Those conversations were short but encouraging.  My kids heard less yelling and nagging, and more "I love you," and "I miss you."  My phone conversations were less idle chatter, and full of more encouraging and sweet words.  Sometimes less is truly more.

I started to think about how I spend my time:  so many days spent running here and there and everywhere, mindlessly filling my time with busyness.  As my schedule had to be cleared, I saved my energy for the things that were most important to me - time with people I loved.  I went to a Women of Worship night at my church and sang, and it was wonderful, but the next morning got sick - again.  I felt better and went to a birthday dinner with some good friends, and the next morning got sick - again.  It's like my body was trying to recover, and the minute I tried to fill my time with even good things, it rebelled against me again saying, "I told you to REST."  I haven't had energy to shop, or peruse through stores (like that happens a lot), or just do much of anything.  Only the things that were most important rose to the top.  Sometimes less is truly more.

I was also reminded of those who reached out to us, and it made me think twice about my relationships. For some I thought I was close to barely noticed, while others I barely knew made gestures of love.  One woman, a mother of one of Micah's classmates, called me three times this week to check in and see how we were doing. She stopped by one afternoon with a bag full of DVD's, puzzles, popsicles and treats.  I was brought to tears by this woman who we barely just met.  I know we were not struggling with some disease or anything, but the feeling of loneliness can be overwhelming in a season such as this.  I received encouraging emails from people we barely knew at church, as well, reminding me that the church truly is our family in time of need.

I don't think we went through this season for a particular "lesson", although I hope to take away insights from a time like this.  After $500 in medical bills this month alone, 4 antibiotics, blood tests, and 10 doctors' visits, here is what is priceless:

-Knowing that my family will be okay
-Realizing that I need to spend my time on what is truly important, instead of just being busy
-Enjoying my time with my family
-Cherishing our friends who have reached out to us
-Talking less, listening more
-Knowing that less can be truly more.

The Sickies

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4 weeks ago, the stomach bug hit our house and Jaden threw up in his Sunday School class.  Fast forward to today, where we have been hit with pneumonia, strep throat, sinus infections, the flu, and colds.  For the past 4 weeks the boys have had fevers of 99-103 degrees, with Micah having two nights of hallucinations where he tried to eat his blanket.

Tomorrow will be our 7th doctors appointment, probably our 3rd round of antibiotics (for Jaden), and we have spent over $300 on medication, vitamins, doctor's visits, etc...  Micah has missed 9 days of school this month, and Jaden missed school today.

I have pumped my babies full of vitamins and probiotics, made healthy meals, sanitized our entire house, and still cannot seem to get rid of this bug.  Even Martin with his rock-solid immune system got hit and I have never seen him sleep so much.

In a word....unbelievable.  In three words....this mama's tired.

Our nights are full of Children's Tylenol, humidifiers, boys sleeping on our chests and coughing in our faces, sick breath, temperature checks, nebulizer treatments, and we are running on about 5 hours of sleep a night.

I have prayed until I can pray no more, and today I cried me some angry tears.  Loving people are calling to check in, asking what they can do.  All they can do is pray that this leaves our house.  I can't remember a time where we were all hit this hard with something for so long (although we have all gotten sick together before, but never for this long).

In the midst of all of this I am trying, trying to find things to be thankful for. Such as:

-We don't live in the prairie days
-We have great doctors who are only about 1 mile away
-Our doctor didn't charge us for 3 co-pays
-We have modern medicine (that is supposed to be helping!)
-I am home full-time to take care of my family and don't have to worry about work
-We have warm beds and clean sheets
-We have chicken soup, lots of food and juices, and everyone has their appetites.
-Cartoons (although my boys have watched more cartoons this month than probably in their entire lives!)
-My husband, who gives me many moments of reprieve even when he isn't feeling well himself

I hope that my next update will be much happier and healthier!

Messy Home Tour!

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Beth over at The Stories of A to Z participated in this linky party from Decor Chick where everyone has been posting photos of their messy houses, and I was smiling BIG as I looked through all the photos.  I was thinking thoughts like, "Um, this isn't even messy!" and "They haven't seen nothin' yet!"  So here goes....

(I know what you're thinking, "Um, hello?  It says Monday, January 17th.  That was almost last week".  Yeah, well now you know why I have a messy house.)

Let's just be honest here.  We clean up when people are coming over.  My boys know this, your boys know this.  Unless you are one of THOSE people.  You know, those people who actually clean every day.  I'm not one of those people.  I used to be one of those people, but something in me snapped trying to keep up with the rest of my life, and I just came to total peace with it :)

So, let's start with the house tour.  Which, may I add, is the culmination of me having strep throat for the past 4 days, laid up in bed, not able to lift one finger.  But even if I didn't have strep throat, you may still find this on many days.  It is hard to tell just how messy a house is through a small picture (where you can't see the whole room).  But trust me, it's bad!  And it's been 10x worse too!

Hmmm....The Living Room

Look! The vacuum is there!  (But it's really been there for 2 days now since I can't get it to work for some reason.) "Ohhhh, Flowers!" you are thinking....well, take a few steps closer and you'll be able to smell how old they are.  Here's another view:

And we move on to the Boys' Room:

These messes really look so much worse in person!

And the Bathroom:

Dirty bathrooms really gross me out.  If you came over right now, in the midst of this mess, I would run in there and clean it for you right away.  Trust me, I would.

And our Bedroom:

This is where I've been holed up the past week, quarantined from my family.  I know... my curtains don't match my comforter, and they are hanging by a string on the right window.  I need to work on that.

And then there's the garage....

And the Kitchen - the messiest room of ALL - I just happened to clean today when I got a burst of energy!  It was seriously sparkling clean.  So SEE, I do clean!! Just maybe 1 room at a time.

There is a difference between "messy" and "dirty", and we do try to always keep our house clean, although it is messy.  Some people are embarrassed about their messy houses.  Some people are proud.  I am ambivalent :)  Not really; I just know that we will clean it bit by bit throughout the day, and if someone comes over before it's done, so be it.  As my wise friend Samantha once told me, "Life is being lived here!"

So, it's your turn!! Let's see it!

(P.S. Check out #59 on the linky party - loved the office!!)  :)