Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I Love My Boy


(age 2)

When he was born, we were debating between names.  It was either going to be James, Nathan or Micah.  He came out and the nurse said, "He is vigorous!"  We took one look at him and knew that, although we loved the first two names, they were just too "soft" sounding for our vigorous boy.  Micah means, "Who is like God," or "Gift from God."  We chose his middle name, Nathaniel, meaning "God has given."  But I'll get back to that in a minute.

Micah's life started out with some complications.  The complications weren't huge (although he was), and although I hoped and prayed for a natural birth, I had to have a c-section.  He was born on June 24, 2005 at 9 lbs, 7 oz.

He had jaundice, and they took him away from me for 24 hours and put him in the nursery under the bilirubin lights.  I was heartbroken, to put it mildly, and sobbed heaving sobs, missing him as though he had been ripped from my arms.

He got sick a lot as a baby.  Numerous ear infections, 104-105 degree fevers, name it.  He was prescribed 12 antibiotics in one year, making him develop antibiotic resistance.  Blood tests could not determine why he was getting sick so much, and he was exclusively breastfed, meaning he should not have been sick very much at all.  But the rules didn't apply to our boy.

At 2 1/2 we could tell he was speech delayed, and went through a rigmarole of tests to figure out why.  A psychiatrist used the word "autistic," but we knew that in this case, she was wrong. She then downgraded it to "asperger's syndrome," but we knew that wasn't right either.  Many, many tears were shed.

After more illnesses, we took him to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist who diagnosed him with enlarged tonsils and adenoids, and said he'd had fluid in his ears for over a year, which had caused the speech delay.  Finally, some answers.  Then surgery.  The hardest day of our lives thus far.  He was so scared, that he fell asleep on Martin's shoulder as they took him back to the room for sedation.  Then he woke up on the table, screamed and reached for Martin, and Martin had to walk away.  Our hearts broke again.

Years passed, and he started getting better.  His speech improved.  He graduated speech therapy.  Finally things were getting easier. Then came Kindergarten.  What started out as a year of hope turned into a year of frustration, as he has faced numerous issues in his class environment.  Another struggle, another year of tears.

Today we went in for a routine dentist visit, with a new pediatric dentist who I found (after hours of reading reviews on the internet).  We have a lame HMO dental plan; pretty much the worst available, yet the reviews of her were mostly positive (except for one where she diagnosed a kid with 10 cavities who was later found to have none).  We had a negative experience today; she was not gentle, was rushed and he cried a little.  I sat in that chair watching him for an hour and a half, thinking, "Why can't something be easy for my boy, just for once?"  She came back with the x-rays: 8 cavities, one mini root-canal, and one crown needed.   Um, come again???  (I should specify that they are between the crowded molar teeth, so they are affecting 4 sets of the same top/bottom teeth - likely from not being able to floss well that far back)

We have worked hard to keep our boys away from sugar and juice, no milk at night before bed, brushing twice a day (by us) and flossing.  I was shocked and in tears.  She recommended that he be put under anesthesia for all the work to be done at once, which would be somewhere in the ballpark range of $1200 just for the anesthesia, not to mention all the work that needs to be done. Did I mention we don't charge things like this on credit cards?  Again, "why can't something be easy for my boy, just for once?"

( Micah's first dentist appointment at age 2)

I went online to research something and saw all the judgments against parents whose kids have cavities. Everyone blames the parents, which is sad.  In my family, everyone has soft teeth and it really does seem to have a genetic aspect.  So, I'm prepared for the judgments but disappointed too; in other words, I won't be posting about this on Facebook.  (Only here on my blog, where I know you all show only love, right???)

Tonight I'm thinking of all we've been through with Micah in his 5 short years.  It is in stark contrast to Jaden, who has hardly had any issues at all.  Yet Micah is strong, and so good for the doctors and the dentist, and we are so proud of him.  He did not complain at all today.  He said "thank you" to the dentist even after she made him cry.

Somehow, even before our boy was 10 minutes old, we could tell he was vigorous.  He is a fighter, and he is strong-willed, yet I see the benefits on days like this.  He would go through a lot and would need to be strong.  It hurts my heart to see him have to go through pain, yet he teaches me so much through it.  He is truly my "gift from God."

On another note, we have seen him grow leaps and bounds in the past month or so.  He has started reading and is flying through small books (of mostly 3-4 letter words, mind you, but still so exciting!).  He is coloring like a pro and we even see a little artist coming out of him.  He is one smart cookie.  I love my boy so much, and I hope one day things can be a little easier for him too.


  1. Aw! What a sweet post! My heart breaks for all of you though. I do hope you're getting a second opinion...just in case. Our dentist is awesome here so if you are able to come visit.... :)
    It just shows that God gives us exactly what we need...

  2. He really has been through so much in his 5 years. I agree--2nd opinion definitely. My oldest has soft teeth and deep grooves in her teeth--and has had a few cavities already. And then Maleah has tight teeth--which means cavities are likely to develop between her teeth. We spend a lot of time brushing, flossing and doing fluoride rinses each night. It's a pain in the neck, but necessary I guess. And even then, we still get cavities. Ella had to be sedated once for some fillings. It was sad...and funny though b/c she was so loopy. You are a wonderful advocate for your son!

  3. Everything that Micah has been through since birth, any stranger can look at him and see all of the happiness, the love, and the exuberance that flows through and out of this fantastic little boy. You and Martin are doing such a fabulous job with both boys and nobody can ever take that from you. I'm sure the people who judge are faultier than anyone they've spoken against. Just know that you guys are being good stewards over what God has blessed you with and entrusted you with (the boys) and nobody's opinion matters over His. We love you guys and the boys so much Jaimie - it breaks my heart to hear about Micah's experiences. He's such a smart boy, and all of these things are helping shape and mold him into the perfect person that God needs him to be - for His Will and His glory. Micah's testimony is being built. I love you and pray for your strength through whatever comes your way. XOXO

  4. I got a bit teary-eyed while reading your love for Micah. It was really tough for you guys. But it's a good thing that you managed to overcome those obstacles. And your story has given me inspiration to overcome any challenge that awaits me and my family.

  5. “… and I hope one day things can be a little easier for him too.” It’ll all pass. Just think that everything happens for a reason. It’s really painful for parents to see their child suffering from any kind of pain. By the way, I just hope that next time, your dentist will be, even for a just a little, considerate enough and handle your kids gently.

  6. Your little boy had gone through a lot at a young age, but despite all the struggles, he managed to go through them. :’) Well, with regards to his teeth, cavities are no good. But at least you can do something in order for Micah to have beautiful healthy teeth. He should always maintain a good oral habit, and you have to make sure that he’ll visit his dentist regularly.