It's Back to School time! Many of your kids have already started school, while my big boy starts 1st grade on Sept. 7th, and my little one starts preschool the week after.
With new classes come new friends for our kids. I have a desire to know each of my kid's friends by name, as well as their parents. This will get even more important as they grow older, and I would really love for our house to be the place that other kids want to come. In order for that to happen, I have to work hard now to create relationships. Nobody wants to send their child to a strangers house to play, including me.
By nature I am more of an introvert, so reaching out and making new friends is not always easy for me. In fact, there were days where I wanted to send my husband to drop off and pick up, just so I could have a break from socializing during those times. When Micah was in preschool, his class size was only 10 children, and the other outgoing moms made it easy for me to get to know them. As he entered kindergarten, however, his class size went up to 30, and I was daily hearing new kid's names who I didn't know. By the end of the year I knew every child's name in his class, scheduled playdates throughout the year, and had other moms calling just to say hello. Again, not easy for an introvert, but I wanted to do it for my son.
Meeting other moms not only creates new friendships, but it is also a way of creating connections that will last throughout the years. The friendships I made with the moms in Micah's first year of preschool are still strong, and we still get together regularly for playdates, even though our kids go to different schools. My husband has gotten to know their husbands and we've invited these families to church, to birthday parties, and networked with the businesses they have.
For those of you who might have difficulty reaching out, here are a few things that have worked for me, a fellow introvert:
-Volunteer in the class. Even if it's for 2 hours a week, it makes a difference. You get to see who your kids friends are, how they interact, and begin to know all the kids by name. You hear their family stories. The kids love when you volunteer in the class; I would always have numerous kids come up and hug me and ask when I was coming back. This way, when you meet the parents, you can say, "I volunteer in the classroom," and that always opens up doors for conversation.
-Arrive at drop off and pick up early. This is where parents just stand around and wait, a great breeding ground for conversation. Here are a few conversation starters:
"Is this your first year at the school?"
"Do you guys live around here?"
"Do you know anything about such-and-such event coming up?"
"How is the year going for your son/daughter?"
"How does your son/daughter like school so far?"
-If your child has certain playmates at school, meet their parents and ask if you can go to the park after school one day. Grab some snacks, and head over to the nearest park for even an hour. We did this numerous times during the school year and I made some great friends during our park time. It is helpful to offer to meet in a neutral location (at least for the first time), since some people may not feel comfortable entering your home with their child if they barely know you.
-Become a room parent. Yes, this usually takes some work, so be sure you have the time if you commit to it. But this is a fantastic way to keep in communication with the other parents and kids.
-If you can't devote the time to being a room parent, ask the teacher for other ways you can help out. Our classroom had a parent in charge of the Scholastic Reading program, and that parent would mail out monthly letters to the parents. That is all she did, yet we all got to know her name and her face.
-Go on a field trip with your child's class. Reassure the other parents that you will be there to help keep an eye on the children. They will love you!
-If you cannot volunteer during school hours, see if there are other ways you can help out at school during other activities at night. This will still give you opportunities to meet parents.
Obviously to do all of these would be really overwhelming. One mom gave me a great piece of advice when Micah entered Kindergarten: "Don't volunteer for everything." She got burned out fast. In the same way, don't do everything on this list, but pick one or two if you want to meet other parents.
What other ways have you found to meet parents? What advice would you give to moms looking to meet other moms?
Showing posts with label kindergarten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kindergarten. Show all posts
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
Reflections on Kindergarten at a Public School
Last year at this time, I was freaking out. Kindergarten Roundup was happening at our local public school, so we took Micah because we were checking out all of our options. Option #1 was private (Christian) school, option #2 was public school, and option #3 was homeschool (and I often flipped around #2 and #3). We went to kindergarten roundup and I was in tears - I could not imagine sending my baby to school for 6 hours a day, under the care of some stranger I had never met. I was worried about everything - the influences, the lack of supervision, the schedule, the food in the cafeteria, where the bathrooms were, and on and on and on.
Yesterday I saw parents at the school for Kindergarten Roundup again, and it all came back to me.
The first few months of school were torture for me. I cried almost every day. This was not what I wanted for my child. Yet in my heart I felt that he was supposed to be there - even more than he was supposed to be with me at home (which would have been a nightmare, I might add). I knew that this journey was a faith-step for me that I needed to take. I needed to trust God with my child. I needed to believe that God was bigger than any obstacle we might face in public school.
If you recall any of my previous posts about this topic, you already know that we have struggled the whole year. He has been fine. He has enjoyed going to school, and he has a strong group of friends. In fact, he is doing excellent. I, however, have wrestled with God, almost daily, for coming on 9 months now. Despite the fact that I've been worried about the lack of instruction happening (just in his class, not in the others), God has continually showed me a few things. I hope this encourages those of you who also might face a situation like this.
1 - Public school is not the enemy. Certain websites told me it was. Certain books told me it was. Even well-meaning parents told me it was. But I have learned that public school is not the enemy. In fact, there are amazing teachers there, and many of them love Jesus. Our school had massive budget cuts that took each class up to 30 students, moved teachers around, and caused some general chaos. But I still remain convinced that much good still happens there. The students are learning, not only from amazing teachers, but from each other. And that brings me to my second point.
2- Public school students are not the enemy. Sure, I was afraid that my kid would come home and drop the F-bomb after hearing it from some other mouthy kid. But that never happened. Yes, in the first month, Micah did come home and quietly said a cuss word he had overheard. But somehow, even though he had never heard that word before, he knew it was wrong, and that's why he whispered it. We had a good conversation about honoring God with our mouths. That was the only instance I heard of a child cussing (and that kid was in another grade), and my husband and I are in the class several times a week. A few weeks ago, I took the boys to the beach where they heard a kid next to them repeat several cuss words. They heard more from that kid than Micah heard at his own school. Public school kids are from all sorts of homes, including good homes. But many of these kids are also from homes where parents are not good examples, and they desperately need good examples around them.
3 - Public school has much good to offer. You may be surprised to hear me say that after the year we've had - a year of numerous meetings with the principal and with other parents due to circumstances we have not been happy with. YET, I will still say that Micah has been afforded opportunities that are fun and educational, and I cannot think of another environment where he would have gotten to do those same things. He has also made great friends with most kids in the class, 4 boys in particular who love playing together. They are all good boys, I know all of their parents, and we get together outside of school too. (His best friend in his class is a boy who he went to preschool with, who happens to live down the street, and his parents are involved in their church, too - this alone was an answer to prayer, and a way that God was reassuring me that we are where we're supposed to be.)
4 - Do not avoid public school simply because of your own fears. This is where your faith kicks in. Everyone has to make their own decision about what is best for them. For us, we wanted Micah to go to a school in our community where we could form relationships and be a witness. We have had to daily overcome our own fears and trust in God to keep Micah safe and secure. God has answered our prayers and proven that He is with Micah at all times. Micah has been protected, he has been happy, he has been safe - despite my fears that something could happen to him. This year has been more of a step of faith for me than anyone. It has grown me, stretched me and exercised my faith in ways I didn't even want, but needed.
5 - The kids in public schools need good, Godly influences. Micah has told me about his conversations with one boy, who I will call John. John's family is from another country and they do not believe in Jesus. John told Micah about what his family believes, and Micah told John what we believe. This boy had never heard of Jesus before. I overheard them talking just this week and Micah said, "Jesus is God's son!" Now, we have never pressured Micah to witness or even spoken with him that much about it, but it just comes naturally to him - and now this little boy has heard the name of Jesus.
I know every single child in this class, and my heart breaks for them. Today I read a quote that says, "There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own." (Robert Brault) When I read this quote, I immediately thought of all the kids in Micah's class. I love them, care for them, and want them to know Jesus.
I also know most of them have never been to church. But when they come to me crying, I say things like "I will pray for you!" I give them hugs and just try to show them God's love. I still remember one little girl who was being made fun of; I had her come sit by me (she was from another class), and she had a crucifix necklace on. I just asked her what her necklace meant and who was on it. She didn't even know. I pray for that girl now, and her face lights up when she sees me.
Most people I share this with say things like, "Oh, wow, it's so good that you are there!" I don't see it that way. I feel that we are all called to reach the kids and families that God puts in our lives, and these are the kids and families that God has put in my life. What a huge blessing and opportunity! And it makes me sad that some Christians are too afraid to reach out - to afraid of what could happen to their 1 child if God might call them to reach 30 more.
In saying that, I don't mean to make anyone feel guilty - I really believe that God calls each of us to make decisions based on what He wants to do with our particular family. For some, that is homeschooling; for others, it is a Christian school. But for us, this year, it was public school. That may change next year, and I am open to that.
But for now, I am thankful that God did call us to this place at this time, because 30 kids have had seeds planted in their hearts that may someday sprout. I may not have changed their lives, but these sweet kids definitely changed my perspective. Although my first choice would still be that my boys go to Christian school (for reasons I won't go into here), I still trust that God had a plan in this. We tried to be obedient to Him, and He showed himself faithful.
Yesterday I saw parents at the school for Kindergarten Roundup again, and it all came back to me.
The first few months of school were torture for me. I cried almost every day. This was not what I wanted for my child. Yet in my heart I felt that he was supposed to be there - even more than he was supposed to be with me at home (which would have been a nightmare, I might add). I knew that this journey was a faith-step for me that I needed to take. I needed to trust God with my child. I needed to believe that God was bigger than any obstacle we might face in public school.
If you recall any of my previous posts about this topic, you already know that we have struggled the whole year. He has been fine. He has enjoyed going to school, and he has a strong group of friends. In fact, he is doing excellent. I, however, have wrestled with God, almost daily, for coming on 9 months now. Despite the fact that I've been worried about the lack of instruction happening (just in his class, not in the others), God has continually showed me a few things. I hope this encourages those of you who also might face a situation like this.
1 - Public school is not the enemy. Certain websites told me it was. Certain books told me it was. Even well-meaning parents told me it was. But I have learned that public school is not the enemy. In fact, there are amazing teachers there, and many of them love Jesus. Our school had massive budget cuts that took each class up to 30 students, moved teachers around, and caused some general chaos. But I still remain convinced that much good still happens there. The students are learning, not only from amazing teachers, but from each other. And that brings me to my second point.
3 - Public school has much good to offer. You may be surprised to hear me say that after the year we've had - a year of numerous meetings with the principal and with other parents due to circumstances we have not been happy with. YET, I will still say that Micah has been afforded opportunities that are fun and educational, and I cannot think of another environment where he would have gotten to do those same things. He has also made great friends with most kids in the class, 4 boys in particular who love playing together. They are all good boys, I know all of their parents, and we get together outside of school too. (His best friend in his class is a boy who he went to preschool with, who happens to live down the street, and his parents are involved in their church, too - this alone was an answer to prayer, and a way that God was reassuring me that we are where we're supposed to be.)
5 - The kids in public schools need good, Godly influences. Micah has told me about his conversations with one boy, who I will call John. John's family is from another country and they do not believe in Jesus. John told Micah about what his family believes, and Micah told John what we believe. This boy had never heard of Jesus before. I overheard them talking just this week and Micah said, "Jesus is God's son!" Now, we have never pressured Micah to witness or even spoken with him that much about it, but it just comes naturally to him - and now this little boy has heard the name of Jesus.
I know every single child in this class, and my heart breaks for them. Today I read a quote that says, "There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own." (Robert Brault) When I read this quote, I immediately thought of all the kids in Micah's class. I love them, care for them, and want them to know Jesus.
I also know most of them have never been to church. But when they come to me crying, I say things like "I will pray for you!" I give them hugs and just try to show them God's love. I still remember one little girl who was being made fun of; I had her come sit by me (she was from another class), and she had a crucifix necklace on. I just asked her what her necklace meant and who was on it. She didn't even know. I pray for that girl now, and her face lights up when she sees me.
Most people I share this with say things like, "Oh, wow, it's so good that you are there!" I don't see it that way. I feel that we are all called to reach the kids and families that God puts in our lives, and these are the kids and families that God has put in my life. What a huge blessing and opportunity! And it makes me sad that some Christians are too afraid to reach out - to afraid of what could happen to their 1 child if God might call them to reach 30 more.
In saying that, I don't mean to make anyone feel guilty - I really believe that God calls each of us to make decisions based on what He wants to do with our particular family. For some, that is homeschooling; for others, it is a Christian school. But for us, this year, it was public school. That may change next year, and I am open to that.
But for now, I am thankful that God did call us to this place at this time, because 30 kids have had seeds planted in their hearts that may someday sprout. I may not have changed their lives, but these sweet kids definitely changed my perspective. Although my first choice would still be that my boys go to Christian school (for reasons I won't go into here), I still trust that God had a plan in this. We tried to be obedient to Him, and He showed himself faithful.
(Micah's class this Wednesday):
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