A Good Friday

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"Most Americans consider Easter to be a religious holiday, but fewer identify the resurrection of Jesus as the underlying meaning." (The Barna Group, March 15 2010)

Today is Good Friday.  Seems kindof ironic that it is called "Good" when it is a day we remember that Christ suffered and died.  Today I went to Chuck E Cheese with some friends.  Parents and their children milled about, having fun and playing games.  Most of the world treats this just as any other day.  For many, it is finally Spring Break - a day for celebration!  And part of me wonders: is this okay?  Is it okay to be happy on the day we are remembering that Jesus suffered and died?

I don't know about you, but I tend to skip over Good Friday and go straight to Easter.  I also don't like to rent sad movies.  I always go for comedies.  So maybe this is a personality thing.  But Good Friday seems like such a sad day, a day of mourning.  Would I go to Chuck E Cheese if a family member had just died today?  Um, probably not.  But I'll get back to that later.

At MOPS last week, our speaker shared about this subject. She said that some people look forward to Good Friday, and some people look forward to Easter.  She said that she loved Good Friday - going to a church service and sitting in silent meditation, with candles lit, remembering what Christ did.  Me?  I have dreaded those services!  They seem so sad!! I want to get to the Easter celebration and the cupcakes, you know?!

But here is why Good Friday really is GOOD:

-It is the beginning of the story, not the end.  This one has a happy ending.
-The sadness was turned to joy.
-If it weren't for the sacrifice He made, we would have no hope.  We would have no purpose for living.
-We would constantly be living in fear of making a mistake, knowing that we had to atone for our own sin.
-He did die, but He also rose from the dead!  

Whereas the believers around Him didn't know the end of the story (but by faith), they only experienced the grief on Good Friday.  They suffered and cried and heaved sobs and held each other and mourned, because He was gone.  But we know the rest of the story; that three days later He rose from the grave.  So we can indeed, remember and celebrate on Good Friday.

I think it's important that we take time to remember what happened.  That we take the time to sit and process it, to think about it, because we can too easily take it for granted.  We can too easily overlook the price that He paid so that YOU and I could be free and have hope and eternal life.  If we just skip straight to Easter and cupcakes, we're missing half of the story.  

Here's where I hope you can be encouraged today.  Our speaker shared with us that in the Bible, so often the words "mourning and dancing" or "sorrow and joy" are tied together. 

Psalm 126:5
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.

Psalm 126:6
He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.

Psalm 30:5
For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Psalm 30:11
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy

Jeremiah 31:13
Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well.  I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

On days like today, Good Friday, we need to mourn and recognize the sacrifice Jesus made for us.  But over and over we see that He will turn our mourning into dancing and joy.  "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." (Ps. 30:5)

What are you mourning right now?  Are you in a season of grieving?  Just remember that before the joy can come, often the pain and sorrow exist.  Hang on, because joy is coming!

So, Chuck E Cheese?  Well, we know the end of the story.  So I think Jesus is okay with Chuck E Cheese too :)

(If you'd like to know more about the meaning of Easter, here are some great podcasts!)

A Great Big Mess

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I'm trying to figure myself out this week, because I confuse myself.  I'm trying to figure out why I am, by nature, a very organized person, yet SO disorganized at home.  In the workplace or with any responsibilities I am given, I am very detail-oriented, stay on task and stay organized.  But at home, I am a mess.  I am disorganized, I lose things constantly, papers are strewn in different piles throughout the house, I am forgetful, and my house is a great big mess.  I make lists for myself: shopping lists, meals & recipes, cleaning charts, projects to work on, etc... and then I lose my lists or forget about them.

Some of this comes down to basic self-discipline.  This has always been a struggle for me in my personal life.  I have struggled with discipline in the area of devotions, eating, exercising, staying on top of household chores, and much more.  I just don't feel like doing things, and so I won't do them!  Isn't that bad?  I let things get out of hand because I don't want to take the time to fix them.  Then it gets too overwhelming.

This is an area that God has been convicting me of lately.  I want to honor God with my time, and I haven't been.  I would much rather take a nap or read the newspaper than clean up the great big mess in the kitchen.  I would much rather make a mess than clean it up.  I would much rather go run errands than deal with a disorganized office.  I see the effects of this, and it is not good.  It even makes my family suffer.  I was talking with my husband about it last night and he gently reminded me that when I am chaotic, my kids feel chaotic too.  When I can't find things, I run late, and I lose my patience.  When the house is a wreck, it does not make for a peaceful environment to live in.  Every time I start cleaning, my kids automatically ask "who is coming over?"  You know that's not good! :)

I don't know where to start.  But here are the areas I want to improve:

-Waking up earlier
-Spending time with God
-Exercising
-Eating healthy
-Keeping on top of the laundry
-Keeping the house clean
-Having set "work" times so I'm not working all throughout the day

All of these take self-discipline.  I know that this starts in the heart and moves outward.  Maybe you guys can  help me.  Do you have any tips that help you be more organized at home or with your time?  I'm sure you have areas too that you want to be more self-disciplined in.  Where do we begin?

I am Laughing

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Today I am laughing :)  Is it because....

I realized that on TWO different days this week, I was walking around with only ONE silver hoop earring in my ear out in public?  (Sometimes I take one out when I'm napping and then forget about it).

Today at Subway a fireman gave my boys an "honorary fireman" sticker, and Jaden said loudly "But mommy, I'm not a fireman, I'm just a little boy!"

Yesterday a hairdresser from Paris dyed my hair, and I couldn't understand anything she was saying or asking me, even though I pretended I did understand.  But I did get the whole haircolor for FREE courtesy of an ad on Craigslist!!

My wonderful husband let me sleep in on Thursday until 8:36am, even though I needed to be out of the house for MOPS by 8:45am (I don't fault him; he didn't know. Sweet guy!) :)

I took the boys to the park and as we were leaving, I said "Hurry boys, mommy has to get home and go to the bathroom!" and Micah yelled, "Why, mommy? Are you going to poop your pants?"

Yesterday we ate at Chik-Fil-A and found out it was March Madness; we get to go back any day before March is over and get the same meal for FREE!

Indeed, it has been a fun week :)

A Day Off!

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A few months ago Martin and I agreed that we each need a "day off" at least once a month, where we are each able to get some rest and rejuvenation that is completely guilt-free.  (Because it is so hard to leave your kids and spouse without feeling some sort of guilt).  We each choose one Monday a month and write it on the calendar, and the other one of us watches the kids the whole day (Martin's day off is Monday).  It has been great and I don't know why we didn't start doing this sooner!

We spend our days off differently; On Martin's day off, he often chooses to stay around the house and relax, and I get up early with the boys and make all the meals for the day.  Sometimes he'll go running at the beach, and he often reads and plays guitar.

I, on the other hand, love to get out of the house since I'm here so much anyway.  On most days off, I have no money to spend, so it is hard to think of things to do outside the house, but I'll often sleep in, go to the beach for a while to pray and look for dolphins, come home and take a nap, and just lounge around.  But today was extra fun!!  Today I got up at 8am, got dressed, and then went out to a bunch of stores to window-shop.  I went to Goodwill (my favorite place to find fun Target returns) and JoAnn's Fabrics,  then met my friend for lunch, then went window-shopping with her, and then went and got my hair cut (it has been a whole YEAR!).

After taking care of sick kids for 2 weeks, getting no sleep, and griping about it a few times on my blog, I feel like I am BACK! :)  It is amazing what a few hours can do.  I know most people can't get a whole day to themselves, as many spouses work long hours or two jobs (or both), but before doing this, we would give each other "night's off" - just 2 or 3 hours where the other one would put the kids to bed, and one of us could go out and relax.  I highly recommend it!    Even a few hours away makes me miss my hubby and kids, and gives me new energy.  I know what it's like to be exhausted and worn out, so I hope you get a few hours to yourself this week too - if even late at night after the kids go to bed.  So glad to finally be feeling better!!

Could This Be The Week...

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Could this be the week...
That I have not had a good night's sleep in over 9 nights?
That Daylight Savings Time has messed with our heads?
That BOTH of my boys are no longer taking naps?  (I think Jaden took 1 nap this week)

Could this be the week...
That I knew would come but always dreaded?
That is bringing us into a new season in life (that I don't want)?
That my patience is wearing thin?

Could this be the week...
That I need more sleep than ever?
That I am not getting any sleep?
That I am not pleasant to be around?

Could this be the week...
That my 2 boys have both, simultaneously given up on napping?

Yep, that pretty much describes this week.  I really hope it is just due to Daylight Savings Time. But something tells me this may be indicative of a change happening.  A change I do not want.  Mommy  needs a nap, and mommy is not getting one.  Sorry to whine, but it has been one of those weeks.

A Working Mother

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Lately I have been craving having a job.  (Not that I don't have one already, but you know, the type of job where you leave the house and work somewhere else).  It has been almost 5 years since I quit my job to stay home with Micah and Jaden.  I have been so incredibly thankful for the opportunity. But sometimes I actually want to get away from the house, focus my mind and energy on something else, so that I can come back and fully appreciate my family again.

I do think that this period of time has been the best thing for our kids.  I have been there for every milestone, every smile, every cry, every diaper change, etc...  But there have also been days where I felt isolated, unmotivated, depressed, and bored.  Micah is going into kindergarten in the fall, and he'll be there from 9am-2pm daily.  Jaden will be in preschool two mornings a week, although we could choose three if we had the money.  He is so excited about it, he wishes he were there now.  In the Fall, I will have a little more time on my hands. But part of me doesn't want to wait until then.

Looking back on my life pre-children, I was focused on schooling and my job.  I got my Master's Degree. I was all set to use it and go apply all my newfound-knowledge.  (My MA was in Church Leadership).  Then we moved, and I got a job that was offered to me and paid the bills, and thought "I'll get to that soon." Then baby #1 came, then baby #2.  But whenever I get to use my education and knowledge for situations in the church or elsewhere, I get so excited.  I feel alive again.  I have new energy and joy.  And I really feel like it makes me a better mom!

Don't get me wrong; I can definitely use those skills now, and I have been. Everything I do, I do for free - at church and wherever I can.  But we need some extra money, and I am praying God will lead me to the right thing.

I don't want to go back to work full-time.  I want flexibility, and for our kids to continue to be taken care of by one of us most of the time.  That leaves me the option of finding a job that is about 10 hours a week, or on a consultant-basis.  Just something small.

Here are my options (although none have opened up yet):
-Photography.  Pump up my business and go for it.  Do more photo shoots.  Or work for another photographer as an editor or contract-worker.  (But honestly, been there and done that, and I kindof want something different right now, just keeping that as my "side-job".
-Lactation Counseling.  I do this for free right now.  This is another thing where I will have to drum up business.  Yet I enjoy doing this as a ministry and know many new moms cannot afford to pay.  I have looked into teaching courses at local hospitals, but our hospitals are not hiring for these positions right now.
-Administrative Work.  This is something I am strong in and have a lot of experience in. However, it is hard to find work like this that pays well enough and is only 10 hours a week.  I'd prefer not to work behind a desk getting paid pretty low.
-Speaking.  I love to speak for women's events, retreats, MOPS groups, etc..., but again, it is not steady work.  I need something steady.
-Social Work.  It is so great having best friends who know what you're good at and know where you're heart is.  When I told my friend these thoughts about working, she immediately gave me some suggestions in the field of social work.  My BA was in Sociology, and I would love to work in that field.   This is a possibility if I found the right job.
-Ministry and/or Consulting.  This is first and foremost where my heart beats and what I would love to do.  But when your husband is also in ministry, it can complicate things.  He is the main breadwinner, and he gets paid to do ministry.  Our church cannot afford to hire me at the present time. I have helped my pastor with consulting (for church planters) on occasion but this is also a volunteer job.  We would have to find a church that would hire both of us, but it is a rare church that has two job positions open at the same time for our specific areas, and besides, we like where we are.
-Writing.  A hobby, perhaps; but not a job yet.  This is one I may be able to do in the future if I had set blocks of time.  I have written letters for companies before, but did not enjoy it. Not sure if this could ever turn into a job or not.

For now, I will keep doing what I'm doing, enjoying my time at home with my boys.  I know that I will never be able to get this time back (when they are at these young ages) and I do love it.  But wouldn't it be great if you could get paid to do what you LOVE and are already doing?   Because Lord knows I wear many hats right now and do many jobs, but just need some of them to pay.

So...what would you want to do if you had a job right now? (Or what do you do already?)

Long Nights

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This is the 7th night in a row we've been up with a sick boy.  The first 4 nights it was Micah, who had a terrible cough and stuffy nose, then the 5th night it was Micah and Jaden, and now it is mainly just Jaden (Micah is still sick but sleeping through the night now).  We have been playing "musical beds" each of these nights.  This is what Saturday night looked like:

8:00pm- put boys to bed in their room with humidifier on
11:00pm- Micah woke up with stuffy nose and came into our room
12:00am- I went to bed with Micah on our bed, Martin fell asleep on the couch
12:30am- Jaden woke up, and Martin held Jaden on the couch
1:00am- Martin went to sleep with Jaden on Jaden's bed
2:00am- Jaden woke up and came into the bed with me and Micah
3:00am- Martin came into the bed with all of us, and I woke up to go sleep in Jaden's bed
3:30am- Jaden came into bed with me (in his own bed)
5:00am- I went back to our bed with Jaden
6:00am- Both boys woke up.  Martin got up with them and I crashed until 8am.

Crazy, right?!  Our days and nights have been mixed up and I feel like we have a newborn in the house or something!  (Definitely makes me NOT miss those days).  When our nights are all mixed up like this, it is hard for me to focus during the day. All I want to do is sleep.  Micah is still coughing but sleeping through the night now, but Jaden is not doing well and just threw up all over his bed (right before I wrote this) from having a coughing attack.

Honestly, though, I am actually thankful, because since Micah's surgery last May he has hardly gotten sick at all. This was the sickest he has been in 10 months, and it didn't turn into an ear infection!   I remember we used to go through this at least once a month.  Jaden rarely gets sick, so it is unusual to see him like this, but he handles it really well.  (He hardly cries at all and always asks for medicine.  I give him teething tablets instead and suddenly he feels all better) :)  I know that all the studies say we shouldn't give our kids medicine when they are under 4 years old, but I practically have a CVS pharmacy in my house.  I do give my kids medicine to help them sleep through the night when they're sick. I don't like the effect the medicine has on their bodies (makes them a little "loopy"), yet it helps them to sleep when they otherwise would be up crying.  I use children's Motrin, children's Tylenol cough and cold, and Little Noses (not all at once, of course).  The humidifier is our life saver - I see such a huge difference when we use that.

I'm so thankful that God has given me a husband who is a total night person and does not mind staying up with the boys at night when they're sick. He has this unusual ability to hold them upright AND be able to get a good night's sleep.  I don't know what I'd do without him.  I am a mess when I don't get sleep and feel it for days.  We have had a team-approach to our kid's sicknesses and I'm so thankful for that!

Here's to hoping tonight we get a little bit of rest (although it is not looking that way right now) :) Off to play another version of "Musical Beds"! :)