Monday, August 11, 2008

The Blessing of Boys

Today in the newspaper I read a column by a woman who has 3 teenage sons, in which she writes about the blessing of boys and how it seems easier having teen boys than teen girls. She says that [people told her]“…While the parents of [teen] girls are being whipsawed by operatic mood swings and battling over tube tops and short shorts, we parents of boys would be kicking back and enjoying life. I am here to report that it’s true!” Wow. Some people had told me that boys were easier than girls, but I guess I never heard it from a parent of teens before. I can say I am actually a little hopeful!

I wasn’t always hopeful about having 2 boys. I remember when I was pregnant with my second, we dropped Micah off at my friend Janet’s house for her to babysit while we went to my sonogram appointment. We just knew that our suspicions would be confirmed and the doctor would say “It’s a girl!” (whom we had already named Hailey Elizabeth and spoken to through my womb walls). After all, I was carrying different, I felt different, and I “just knew.” However, while I laid in the sonogram room, the doctor said, “Well, I’ve done about 50 sonograms today and they were ALL girls! Except yours – YOU are having a boy!” Martin and I were in complete shock. “What?! Are you sure?” She showed us very clearly. Yep, it was a boy. We didn’t even have time to process the information, as Martin was late for a work meeting already and I had to run and pick up Micah. When Janet opened the door and said “How did it go!?” I crumpled into a pile of tears. As she led me to the back of the house, I was crying so hard that I bumped into a table and a glass figurine shattered onto the floor. Yep, pretty much how I felt, too. She talked to me for about an hour while I just cried and said “I won’t know what to do with 2 boys!” “I don’t even like sports!” “But we already named the baby, and it’s a girl name!” She cried with me and hugged me and reminded me that I would love this baby so much that I wouldn’t be able to imagine my life without him.

I went home and called my best friend, again in shock from the news. Heather said “God must have a big plan for these two brothers. Don’t forget that.” For about a week I felt numb, confused, and then guilty that I even cared what gender the baby was. After all, if the baby was healthy, why did it even matter? And the fact that I could even get pregnant and have a baby? How selfish of me. But it felt like a big deal because we always said we were only going to have 2 kids, and I always wanted a little girl. A little me. A little princess to play tea parties with and dress in cute dresses and braid her hair. And see her pretend that she was Laura Ingalls, just like I did. And now I knew that was never going to happen.

Shortly after my “breakdown”, I did adjust to the fact that he was a boy and started getting excited. All my sorrow washed away and I knew nothing but love for the baby inside of me. And when Jaden came into this world, he melted into my arms and I fell in love with him immediately. It is true, I cannot imagine our lives without him. He is an amazing baby with a fun personality, and I see myself in his little eyes (even though everyone says he looks like his dad).

Somewhere inside, I still think it would be nice to have a daughter someday, but we’ve already decided that if God leads us down that road, we will adopt. Maybe when the boys are a little older and past the toddler stage we will discuss it more seriously.

But for now, I cherish these 2 boys. I have learned to play with cars, build train tracks, play sports (the 3 year old version), and get excited about the trash man coming just as much as them. We wrestle, we throw sand, and we laugh a lot. God knew just what I needed.

I know I've posted this picture before, but it's my favorite picture of Jaden & I:

Micah & Jaden right after we brought J home from the hospital (5/07):


  1. it's amazing how God knows exactly what is right for us. A good friend of mine just found out she's expecting her 4th boy! part of me would love a son, but i suspect a 3rd will be another girl!

  2. Hi there! We thought everyone of our girls was going to be our son - lol. By the time we were pregnant with #4 we expected a girl :) God knew we needed a little more time to soften and be ready to raise a boy.

    And we have already seen a few glimpses into life with 3 teen girls! They already fight over clothes . . .

    Thanks for your comments - you always brighten my day :)