Ok, so we have temporarily suspended the potty-training regimen. I didn't realize how time consuming this would be! We spent 4 or 5 straight days of almost only using underwear on the boy, but out of that time he only went pee on the potty once and we cleaned up pee off the floor the rest of the time. Ugh! Some friends have recommended setting aside entire days, filling him with juice, and taking him to the bathroom every 15 minutes. We really are going to try that, but I need to psych myself up for it first. Right now, I need a little break.
Something else that has been weighing on my mind lately is the whole vaccination debate. With Micah, I read about vaccines and all of the pros and cons, and just prayed for his little body every time we went to the doctor. He always did fine. He is speech delayed by about 10 months, but we do attribute that to fluid in his ears and not any side effects from vaccinations. However, I have just been re-examining the debates lately because Jaden's 12 month appointment is in two months, where he will likely receive the "dreaded" (to many moms) MMR vaccines and the chicken pox vaccine. My doctor is kindof old-fashioned, and does not see a need to be concerned at all about vaccines, and quotes the many studies showing no correlation between MMR and autism. She does not order MMR separately as Dr. Sears book recommends, although they did say that I could have MMR and Chicken Pox done at separate appointments (mind you, that is 2 co-pays).
Anyway, I do NOT want to be a mother who lives in fear. My decisions cannot be based on fear. I do want to be educated and well-informed however, so the line there is thin. But the media puts these things in our minds so much - fear, fear, fear. And it does get to me a bit, I admit. The risks of Jaden contracting a disease from NOT getting the vaccine are greater than the likelihood of him getting autism from a vaccine. I don't like all of the vaccinations doctors give these days, that's for sure Every appointment he is getting more and more.
Yet I think of ALL of the millions of kids across the U.S. (me included) who got all of their shots and are completely fine. Well-protected, in fact!
The bottom line is, either decision can be made in fear. To not vaccinate, I can be afraid that my child could contract a disease from another child who isn't vaccinated. To vaccinate, I can be afraid that my child could suddenly show signs of autism, and then I'd probably blame myself for getting him vaccinated.
My only hope is to pray about it, and not make either decision out of fear, but COMPLETELY AND WHOLLY TRUST that God will protect my child no matter what decision I make. That whatever happens to him is not because of something I did or did not do, but rather TRUST that my little boy's life is in God's hands. I can try to protect him from many things in life, but ultimately, I need to pray God's protection over him and believe that God will do His job and let me off the hook a little!
This is just the first test of many - letting my baby go, and giving him to the Lord, just like Abraham did with Isaac. I have to be willing to give up my control of his life and realize that He is God's child, on loan to me. I will just do the best that I can.
