Exciting Week

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One of the things I love about Micah being in preschool is the fact that he has a party for every holiday. It makes holidays so much more exciting for him! I love making the other kids little treats and sending them with him to school as gifts for them. This is the first year he is celebrating Valentine's Day at school, so we went out and bought little Valentine's for all the kids with candy. He's really excited for tomorrow.

I'm also REALLY excited because M and I get to go out on a date Friday night! We haven't been out on a date in so long, particularly because it is so expensive to get a babysitter! I have really been wanting to go to the new Melting Pot restaurant that opened nearby, but when I called on Tuesday they said the earliest reservation they had was at 10pm! I asked if I could be put on a waiting list, and they called me tonight to say we could come at 5:15pm. BUT, if we don't show, we get charged $50 a person! No pressure! :)

This past Saturday was also really exciting for me because I got to photograph my first wedding! I don't normally photograph weddings, but I made an exception since these were really good friends. The day went perfect, and it was beautiful! It was scheduled to rain that day but the sun was shining and there was perfect weather. I loved every minute of the wedding, but my favorite parts were being with the bride when she was getting ready, and driving the newly married couple to the picture location. They had just been pronounced husband and wife about 10 minutes before we got in the car, and I felt so privileged to be with them during those first few moments together! Here is one of the pictures from that day.



Have a happy Valentine's Day!

I Wasn't There

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Today I picked Micah up from preschool, and he had a bloody nose and a big, fat lip. His preschool teacher told me that he had fallen out of the sand box (about a foot high off the ground), flat onto his face. She and another teacher kept saying how brave he was, that he didn't even cry. But I know my boy. My boy holds it in. He doesn't like to cry in front of other people. At 3 1/2, he's already figured out how to stuff his emotions deep inside...poor baby. My heart just broke for him. They didn't call me because he wasn't crying and he seemed okay (and I know he is), but all that was going through my head was "I wasn't there!"

It was the first time he's had any kind of accident when I wasn't there to comfort him. He came home and looked at himself in the mirror, but didn't say much about it. I was waiting. Then, a few minutes ago, I went in his room because he was supposed to be taking a nap, and I found him crying. I held him and rocked him as he let it all out. "I fell down," he said; "I hurt myself." "I know, baby. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry mommy wasn't there to hold you."

All a part of growing up, but hard for both of us...

The picture doesn't really do justice to how bad it looks in person, but he will be okay.

Entertaining

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I have discovered something new about myself. Entertaining is not my "gift." I do love having people over, every part of it, but I get SO stressed out before-hand. Every time I say "this time will be different!" but it has yet to be. For about 3 years now we've made New Year's Resolutions to have someone over for dinner from church every month. But after the first time, I get so stressed out that I don't have the strength to do it again for months. What do I stress over? I'm asking myself the same question. I think these are the top things:

1) What to serve. Finally I've decided on two recipes that are no-fail dinners. It's either Italian or Mexican. For dessert, I often stress about that too and then end up running off to Marie Callendars at the last minute to get a pie. So, even though that's number one on my list, that one is slowly going away.

2) Cleaning the house. Because we're in a small house, every mess is magnified. I can mop the kitchen floor, but because we have white tile, it's pretty much pointless unless I do it 10 minutes before company arrives. Same with the rest of the house. We usually do a major clean the night before, but it's messy again the next morning and we have to start all over right before people arrive. Very frustrating. (We also do not have a place for everything since there's not a lot of room).

3) Having enough supplies. We are short on chairs, and short on silverware. We need to buy more of both, but haven't yet due to more pressing financial concerns. So, right now we can comfortably fit about 2 people besides ourselves. Beyond that, we just have to improvise.

4) What to do. I think my biggest stress is "what will we do?" I know - such a simple answer. DUH- talk, hang out! But I'm always nervous that someone will be bored. And because I'm not a natural extrovert, I sometimes can get tired out trying to think of conversation starters! Of course, this doesn't apply to good friends :)

So, if I invite you over, please know that I WANT you to be here, I LOVE having you over, and I do enjoy it while it's happening (and after). It's just that it doesn't come naturally to me. If I don't invite you over, please don't take it personal. Realize that it only happens about 2x a year at this point :)

Case in point, last night we were having people over at 6:00. At about 5:00 I went to get my tablecloth out - the only one I have that fits on table when the leaves are in (brand new, too, so I was SO excited to use it!). Well, it was nowhere to be found. I figured that Martin had put it in the garage somewhere since everything goes in there now (to save space). He looked for it for about 20 minutes and couldn't find it. I was stressing out, let me tell you. I was losing it. So, we ended up having NO tablecloth to use, and I was so frustrated. Our guests never knew what we had just been through. We still have no idea where it is!

I hope I didn't scare anyone about coming over! I know, I need therapy. Does anyone have any tips that could help me?! :)

Saying Goodbye

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This weekend we said goodbye to my grandfather, who passed away last Monday (1/26). We drove 3 hours north and stayed with close friends, who were so awesome to let us spend the night and watch the boys so that we could go to the funeral and reception nearby.

I had not seen my grandfather in a few years but was so thankful to share in the memories of him and hear everyone's stories.  He always had a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. I knew he had three sons (including my father), but I had forgotten that I had a whole other family I had never met.  He and my grandmother had divorced many years ago, and he had four more children with his next wife.  I was able to meet some of my dad's half-siblings, and found out that I have a cousin my own age!  The funny thing is that she also has a photography business, has 2 boys that are 2 years apart (one year younger than both of mine), and we had so much in common.

My grandfather was a pilot who flew airplanes during World War II, although he never actually flew in the war. At the reception I found a stack of copies of his "life story" that he had started typing himself many years ago. It was about 5 pages long, single spaced, and last night I sat and read every word. He hadn't finished it so his stories ended when World War II ended. I learned a lot about him, and decided that everyone should write out their life story. It was so helpful for me, his grand-daughter, to learn things about him I never knew. For one, I never knew how artistic he was. He had a reputation as a teenager for whittling wood and had a newspaper article written about his skills. He was musical and also was known as being a jokester, even winning a comedy contest. He even built a washing machine from scratch, using a barrel and four large blades, that all the Navy guys used. He lived during the days where there was no indoor plumbing, you had to use an outhouse, and hunt for your food (he was from Iowa). He even wrote a story about shooting pigeons in the barn during a harsh winter and providing food for his family. I grew in my love and respect for him even more.

My grandfather died of Alzheimer's, as my step-grandfather did a few months back. It is sad that they are both now gone, but I'm also thankful for the time I had with them. Love you, grandpa.



This is completely un-related, but tonight at Target we said good-bye forever to Pull-Ups for Micah. Woo-Hoo! The boy is 3 1/2 so it is about time. He was only wearing them occasionally to bed at night but we know he doesn't really need them. We just need to be more vigilant about getting up early when he wakes up to make sure he uses the restroom first thing in the morning. It feels so good that we are beyond the diaper and Pull-Up stage, at least with one child!

My Boy Likes Girls

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I've already posted before about my 3 1/2 year old's fascination with Miley Cyrus. Well, a few months ago we found out he had a crush on a girl named Sophia in his preschool class. I still can't believe that a crush at his age is even possible, but it's true. He talks about Sophia throughout the week, prays for her at night, and wants to show his new toys to her. Today he came home from school and said "Two boys hit me, mommy." I said "Why, Micah?" and he said "Sophia." Now, I don't know what the heck that means, but he didn't say much more than that and I don't know if I even want to know.

On Monday we found him on the living room floor looking through the Target ad. When Martin went over to see what he was looking at, he found Micah staring intently at the bikini-clad girls advertising their latest sale. I was aghast! Martin tried to take it away from him and he got really upset, so Martin tore out that page and gave him the one with the toys on it. Could it REALLY be starting THIS young? This is really scary.

Being Married to a Pastor....

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-Means that you can pretty much expect that before the “big day” (Sunday or any other said special spiritual event), Satan will attack you with a vengeance and everything that could go wrong will go wrong (see story below for details)

-Means that people may drop by your house (or call) at any given hour. We’ve only gotten a midnight call maybe one time, but there was one time somebody stopped by and we were NOT in the mood for visitors, so we quickly ducked and crawled back to the bedroom where we hid. I know! We are SO BAD!

-Means that you better be nice to everyone, because you never know who knows you – even if you don’t know them! (That driver you just screamed at – yeah, they visited the church last week!)

-Means that everyone watches your children for the slightest misbehavior, but you don’t care because they are KIDS, people! You let them be who they are.

-Means that your children may get overwhelmed by all the people who want to touch them and hug them, so you don’t make them go to every single thing.

-Means that sometimes it is fun to hide out in the nursing mothers room and lock the door, and then just watch people milling about outside the room with no clue you are in there ☺

-Means that you know ALL the nice hiding places in the church if there’s ever a person you want to avoid ☺

-Means that there will be some nights you feel like a single mom, because your husband is gone AGAIN, but then you feel convicted because you have nothing to complain about. You are not a military wife or anything (well, in a different military)…

-Means that there will be “needy” people who try to suck the life out of you, and you have to be really good at setting boundaries.

-That when you’re husband is having a bad day, someone may come and complain to him about yet another thing he’s not doing and you need to be able to throw open your arms when he comes home.

But it also means…

-There are amazing blessings that come with the territory – emotionally, spiritually, and materially. Some people are so loving and giving it is unbelievable.

-His schedule is so flexible, he can be there for (almost) everything.

-You have the opportunity to serve the people in the church which is very rewarding.

-You are often showered with wonderful food, especially at Christmas or after you have a baby.

-Your kids are growing up with a built-in “family.”

-Some people may even offer to watch your children for FREE! (My favorite)

-You get lots of hugs on Sunday mornings

-You have the opportunity to see and help people grow spiritually

Because I am also a pastor, I could write a whole separate post about that – “What it’s like to be a Pastor who is married to a Pastor,” but I’ll wait on that for now…

This post came about because I have noticed that the craziest things happen before a “Big Day” (in this case, Sunday). Martin was scheduled to preach at both services AND lead worship for those services (which happens only a few times a year). He had slightly hurt his back a few weeks ago, but this Sunday morning, at around 4am, he woke up yelling out in pain. I’ve never seen the man in so much pain, and he seems to have a pretty big pain tolerance. His back was hurting him so bad he couldn’t move. I tried massaging it, putting Ben-Gay on it, putting heat packs on it, etc… It was not making it any better. He knew that he could not go to church in four hours if this did not get better FAST. We talked about going to the ER but knew they would make him wait for hours and then just give him a muscle relaxer or something.

The only thing I knew to do was to call my old chiropractor’s office (who I hadn’t seen in two years) and see if they do emergency appointments. When I called, a message said that if you had an emergency, to press “0” and the doctor would call you back within 5 minutes. I pressed “0” and then had second thoughts and hung up after it rang about 4 times. I went back to report to Martin what I had done and if I really needed to do it, and he said yes. I called again. “Um, hi doctor, I haven’t seen you in 2 years, and I’m so sorry for calling you at 4am, but my husband is in horrible pain and he is a pastor and has to be at church in 4 hours. We don’t know what to do…” After 45 minutes, he called back very sleepily. I felt SO bad. “I’m sorry I called so early.” “Yes, it is VERY early,” he replied, sounding annoyed. I went on to explain. To make a long story short, he ended up talking to Martin and told Martin to come in right then. So at 5am, Martin left and had an emergency appt. for about an hour. He said the doctor was amazing. He was kind, took x-rays, treated him in a few different ways, gave him a back brace, and they even had a good conversation about church and the Bible. (The chiropractor is a Christian).

Martin went to church, was on time, and was able to lead worship and preach with minimal pain. He went back to see the chiropractor yesterday and found out that ALL of his treatments will be FREE, because they have a policy to treat clergy-members for free. We are just so thankful. Another adventure on a Sunday morning, but God was watching out for us.

Waiting is Hard.

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This past year (2008) I felt like month by month we were just waiting.  We are still in that season right now.  We are waiting for changes in many different areas of life.  Normally I am not one to welcome change, but something in me now says "bring it on."  I need it.   I have found that when things get mundane, predictable, boring, I can get a bit depressed.   The last 4 years were full of changes: 2 babies being born and growing fast; every minute was full of a new adventure.  But now that the baby stage is over, we have settled into every day life and it is just very routine.   However, as much as I'd like for things to change right now, sometimes we just have to wait.  Here are some things we're waiting for:

-A bigger house (I know I've written about that many times before)

-A dog.  We want a dog.  Can't have one in this house.

-A cat.  Same story.  Can't have one in this house (we're renters, no room for a litter box, etc). Micah says he wants a "baby white kitty" numerous times every week.  His heart beats after mine!

-Moving Jaden into a toddler bed.  We could do it now, but I think it's still a few months away.  I do like being able to put him in the crib and know he can't get out for a few minutes every day.  (I hope that doesn't come out wrong).  Once we put him in a bed, we know we may have many interrupted nights coming our way.

-Getting Jaden out of diapers.  I do love his little, tender age, but diapers are expensive!  And Micah waited until he was 3 1/2 to be fully potty-trained.  I don't think I can do that again!

-A foster child.  This one has been tugging at my heart for months now.  I can't stop thinking about it.  But we cannot have one in this house, and I know right now is not the right time.

-A job for me.  I really want to get back to working part-time in a ministry setting,  yet again, I know this is not the right time.  I know I am supposed to stay home with my boys right now at this stage in their lives.  But sometimes I see opportunities and feel like they're passing me by.

-Student loans paid off.  We've been making constant payments for over 10 years now.  These things are not going away!  So frustrating.

I could go on and on, but I don't want to bore you with all the details.  I hope that some things change in 2009.   It would be REALLY great.