Coming Home!

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The husband returns today after 5 days of being away at youth camp with our church youth group.  He has not been away this long in a few years; the last time being 7 days away when both of the boys were 1 and 3 and simultaneously had the stomach flu. This time went MUCH better.

I decided to take off and go to my parent's house, mainly due to the fact that I do not sleep at all when my husband is gone.  I hear every noise imaginable and freak out all night long.  Twice when he was gone, I called the police because I thought someone was breaking into the house. One time I saw a figure in the backyard, and it turned out that it was the reflection of a large vase I had put outside to dry, reflected onto the garage door wall.  It was pear-shaped - totally looked like a large, pear-shaped man coming to get me. 

The next time, I heard footsteps and had a panic attack (literally), and finally got the courage to walk slowly down the hall.  I opened the boy's room expecting to find an attacker, and found Jaden sitting on the bottom bunk, sucking on a lollipop that he had gotten a hankering for at 2am.  He was sitting in the shadows of his bottom-bunk light that was turned on, and it was freaky. 

So, as you can see, I thought it would probably be best to steal away to my parent's house, where my dad's gun collection (and my dad) would protect me no matter what.  I slept soundly, other than being in the same room with the boys while we played musical beds all night. 

Since the boys are older now, things were much easier.  I did become quite lonely missing my husband, and having nobody to tell all my boring daily details too (except my mom, but she's not my husband).

It was over 100 degrees where my parent's live, so I went on the hunt for a small pool we could set up.  Finally I found one at Rite-Aid, of all places, and $29.99 later, we were in business.  The boys have been in that pool for 3 days straight now! 

Is it just me, or when your husband goes out of town, do you automatically start having more appreciation for military members and their wives?  And single mothers, too?  I don't know how they do it.

While nothing exciting happened (thankfully - we don't need anymore trips to the ER), we had a good week and I am sure it made us all appreciate being together more.  We have 3 short weeks left until school starts - until my baby (age 5) starts Kindergarten, and Micah starts 2nd grade. I am cherishing each and every moment until they go.

Welcome Home, Dad!

My Top 5 Favorite Beauty Products

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As I age, I have noticed that it is getting harder and harder to look presentable.  Seriously, folks.  If I wake up and go to the grocery store without doing my hair and makeup (which usually entails just some cover-up, lip gloss and throwing my hair in a ponytail), I scare people.  I used to be able to get away with it, but not anymore.

Here are 5 of my favorite beauty products:

1) The Brazilian Blowout.  Two friends and I bought a "Groupon" coupon, and paid $99 for lunch and a Brazilian Blowout.  It was....amazing, to say the least.  For almost 3 months I could wake up in the morning and not even have to do my hair.  My hair did still have some wave, but no frizz, and it only took about 10 minutes to flat-iron my hair (usually it takes about 45).  It would then stay completely straight for the next 2-3 days.  Yes, it has formaldehyde in it (which they promise does not touch your scalp), so I would not do it all the time. I might never do it again because of that (there are many warnings about the Brazilian Blowout).  But now I'm looking for safer versions of this amazing hair product, because now my hair is back to it's frizzy, dry, funky-curly state. (For me, the Brazilian Blowout lasted almost 3 months).

This is my hair. Do you see the funk I currently have to deal with??

2)  BB Cream. I'm still looking for the perfect one, but I read about this cream in the newspaper.  It is basically a foundation, primer, sunscreen, and skin-brightener all in one.  You can put it on and go out without any other makeup on (if you want to).  The more expensive versions run about $30-50, but there are some great ones out there for only $12-15 as well.

3) Bare Minerals.  I can't rave enough about bare minerals.  It leaves my skin feeling fresh and looking smooth.  Their eye shadows stay on all day long.

4) Summer Soles. These may not officially qualify as a "beauty product," but I LOVE these.  As a lifelong sweaty-hand and feet survivor, I cannot live without these.  These are shoe inserts for people with sweaty feet - only these are not Dr. Scholl's, my friend.  These are pretty and fashionable, and I can now wear sandals!  Previously I could not wear 99% of sandals that did not have a cloth sole, because I would slip right out of them. I know this is way too much information, but if you suffer from hyperhydrosis too, you need to look into these.  (Get 20% off by using code "jackandhill")

5) Nail Polish.  Okay, I have never been one to wear nail polish in my life.  But this summer I found the perfect shade, and was amazed at how much different it made me feel wearing it!  I still won't put it on my fingernails more than once a year (I do dishes way too much), but I wear it on my toes constantly.  I feel like a completely different person when I have pretty nail polish on!  I don't go to a nail salon; I just slap on a quick coat and I'm good for about a week.  I bought a mauve color at Target for $5 and feel like a new woman!  (The color I bought looks just like this):

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Advice to my Younger Self

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Last month I turned 36.  No big deal to some, just "a baby" as others would say, but to me it was a big deal.  35 was the last year that I felt young.  All of my life -for some odd reason- I have seen 36 as the official "middle age" number.  Once you turn 36, you are closer to 40 than you've ever been!  Your twenties are officially behind you, and your thirties are closing in as well!  You have to start thinking about life insurance, retirement, and nursing home options!  Kidding, of course.  But seriously.  36 has always been old to me, and now I'm 36.

I was looking back at my life, reminiscing about my younger days, and started thinking about what I would say to my 25 year old self (why 25 and not 26? It just sounded better).  The year was 2001.  At age 25 I had been married for 2 years.  I was almost finished with my Master's Degree. I had already been a Licensed Minister for 4 years, and was working at a University pursuing full-time ministry on the side.  I was an ambitious girl.  My husband and I were living in a cute little 750 square foot apartment in Costa Mesa, and life was full of working, school, cooking dinner every night, and staying up late watching Friends re-runs.

Here are 10 things I would say to that girl:

1. Chill out a bit.  Ambition is good, but it isn't everything.  Your accomplishments don't define you.

2. Even if you don't end up doing what you set out to do, you are still important and valuable.

3. When things go wrong and you feel forgotten by God, remember all the times He was faithful to you, and He will continue to be faithful to you in the years ahead.

4. Life is not all about you.  One day you'll have kids and they will throw up on your cute clothes and you won't be so self-centered anymore.  Get a head start and start liking kids now. Be kinder to those moms you see in Target who have kids throwing tantrums.

5.  Be patient with your husband. Cut the guy a break.  He puts up with a lot from you.

6.  Invest in your friendships, because they will last as long as the effort you put into them.  Cut off the ones that drain you and leave you feeling empty. Pour your energy into the ones who make you feel alive and refreshed, as well as the ones who challenge you in your walk with God.

7.  Find a good counselor, for you will need her over the years.

8.  Handle your money wisely now, because your life 10 years from now will be affected by those decisions you make today.  Don't just take out loans without thinking of the long-term consequences.

9.  Forgive others. Show more love.  Be less harsh. 

10.  You are passionate.  Be more passionate about God than you are about His causes. 

What advice would you give to yourself 10 years ago?  I'm curious to know!

The Prescription for Good Children

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This morning I was sitting with a dear friend, sipping coffee while our children played, and we were talking about motherhood.   She made a difficult decision lately regarding her child's schooling, and has struggled on both ends of the decision.  Ultimately we agreed that often as mothers, we start comparing our children to other people's children, and we start trying to figure out what the "prescription" is for having a good child, and we try to emulate what other people are doing.  The problem is, what seems right for them may not be what's right for us.

This comparison trap seems to start when we're first pregnant and we compare ourselves to other pregnant moms (weight gain, cuteness factor, whether or not they eat lunchmeat or tuna while pregnant...you know, important things like that).  Then it moves to the birthing stage, where we compare birthing stories ("Ohhhh, you had to have a c-section? I'm sorry.....I had my baby on my living room floor" and things like that). Then it moves to the newborn stage ("my baby is 6 days old and can hold his head up high!")  and with each stage of mothering, it only seems to get worse.

At some point we start comparing our kids behavior, and trying to find the "key factors" that make good kids or bad kids. And that's where we get all messed up.  We see another person's well-behaved child and try to figure out what that parent is doing right and what we're doing wrong. Only there is no prescription for good children (really, there isn't), and we feel like a failure when our child seems worse than our friend's child.  We wonder if a certain prescription is the answer - more prayer?  Having them memorize verse?  Homeschooling them?  Staying home full-time?  Reading a certain parenting book?

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If we have a well-mannered child, we can also falsely concur that it is our stellar parenting skills that got them that way, and we can dish out advice in our head to all the "other" parents out there.  I admit, I have done it before, and my kids aren't even perfect.  We all do it at times, because we all have pride in our hearts.

So, in our quest to be the best parents and have the best children on the block, we can inadvertently take way too much credit for something that only God can do.  A child's heart is His, and He will move in their hearts despite our best efforts or greatest failures.  He is the author of their hearts, whichever school they go to or whatever friends they have.  He is the One who can change hard behavior through the Holy Spirit, when we have done everything humanly possible and failed.

We can do our part, but we have to be careful not to take too much credit for what only He can do.  Another friend was telling me how another mom called her and said, "On my sons 4th birthday, he accepted Jesus into his heart!" and it wasn't so much excitement that she was sharing, as it was almost a "dig" at the other mother, like a way to compare the two boys. It was a way of trying to take credit for something only God did.

We can also take credit for our kid's behavior based on the choices we have made as parents, giving pride a foothold, silently judging others, assuming that their kids would be better if they had made the same choices.  

I'm not saying that we should just give up or throw in the towel and be horrible parents.  I'm not saying to NOT make educated, wise choices about who our children are with, what school they go to, what shows they watch, etc... All of those are influential on our children. But let's be careful that we're not taking too much credit for the state of their hearts - something that only God can mold and change.  Let's be careful that if He has blessed us with good children, that we are not judging other people who don't have it all together.  Let's be careful that we are not patting ourselves on the back too much for things He should be getting all the credit and glory for.  Because if there were a prescription for good parenting, only God knows what it is - and what it is for one parent might be drastically different than another.  

Joy Through Pain

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This week Micah took a fall- a big fall- and had to be rushed to the ER for 7 stitches right under his eye.  He was walking in our front yard, tripped on a brick, and fell face-first into our metal park bench.  He has never been hurt that bad, and we had never made a trip to the ER before (a miracle, considering we have 2 boys), but there we found ourselves.

As we waited for 5 hours for him to be stitched up and receive the results from the CAT scan, there were moments I felt so overwhelmed by his pain that my mother's heart could barely handle it.  Yet there were also moments where I just felt thankful - so thankful that it wasn't worse, thankful that we have insurance, thankful that we got a room so quickly.  I was thankful that the doctor said that "it was a miracle" that it didn't puncture his eye, break his nose, or tear his tear-duct.   She said it was her most complicated case in 2 days, but he was one of her best patients.  Again, thankful that Micah had such courage and was so still when he needed to be.

We left at 11pm, and on the way home he threw up all over me. But I felt thankful that I was holding my baby boy, and that he was going to be okay.

As I'm getting older (last week I turned 36), one thing I'm realizing is that in moments of pain, there are still things to be thankful about.  It is hard to find them sometimes, but they are there.  Sometimes we are searching so hard for a lesson to be learned, a word from God, an answer, that we can forget to have a thankful heart, and just remain in the moment.

We are on Day 3 of recovery, and today Micah's eye opened back up after being swollen shut.  Again, I'm thankful that the doctor wasn't the one who had to open it.

Micah doesn't want to go anywhere or see anyone; he is very self-conscious of his face and does not want to look at himself.  But I see the healing taking place and I know he is getting better every day.

Tonight I wanted to get the boys out of the house after being cooped up for 3 days, and on the way to the beach, Jaden started screaming with delight in the backseat. I didn't know what was wrong, until he screamed, "A rainbow! A rainbow! I just saw my very first rainbow!!"  I pulled over and turned around to see huge smiles on both boy's faces.  Kids know how to be thankful and find joy in the simple things... a lesson we can all learn.

We arrived at the beach and Jaden got out of the car with me.  Raindrops started falling, and he looked up and said, "I LOVE the rain!"  Again, the little things...

We were then embraced by one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen! 

A friend posted this on Facebook of tonight's sunset

One of the greatest lessons we can learn in life is how to find joy through pain - instead of whining, finding things to thank God for. I don't have it down yet; it is still a struggle, but my children teach me these things. And for that, I am thankful.

Adoption Auction!!

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Just a quick note to ask everyone to stop by my friend's Adoption Auction, being held this week only! There are some GREAT items listed (including 2 of my friends available for dates) :) Most items are for pick up in Orange County, CA - but there are a few items that can be shipped.  Check it out!!  http://www.schwartzadoptionauction.blogspot.com

A Glimpse of Heaven

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Sometimes in life, and in blogging, there is so much going on, that to stop and actually process it seems like another task and it can be overwhelming.  In the past month we have had a vacation, my sister's bridal shower, her bachelorette weekend, her wedding, and so many fun things in between that I could write for weeks! 

Today I was reminiscing about all the activity, and how we've been on a "high" from one activity to the next, flitting and fleeting to and fro, and all of the fun therein. Yet at some point the activity just stops and life becomes quiet again.  Today I felt that low, commonly felt after a fun-filled experience, where you realize nothing exciting is coming for awhile, and you start to wonder "what now?" The peace, the stillness, is welcome, but it is also deafeningly silent after all the noise.

So we return to the norm - to life, to tasks, to dishes in the sink and laundry that needs to be folded, to kids that get cranky and meals that need to be prepared. 

And yet I realized that all of those fun moments, filled with family, friends, and laughter, of being together and making special memories, are just a taste of what is to come.  As I drove to the grocery market today to refill my empty refrigerator, I missed those people who became a part of my life these past few weeks. People I barely knew became close friends as we worked, sweated and united together to pull off an amazing event. 

A picture came to mind- about 15 minutes before my sister got married on Saturday, she shouted "Let's have a dance party!"  One girl got out her ipod and blasted fun music while all the girls jumped and giggled and danced for 10 minutes.  They "got all their sillies out" as the children's song says, and I stood back and took it all in.  Is this a taste of heaven, or what?

A bride, who had every good reason to be stressed out and in tears, broke out in dance with her best friends, because she realized that it was a day of joy.  I'm so proud of my sister! 

So what does this have to do with all the hustle and bustle of life, and going back to the everyday mundane?

It is moments like this that remind us while not every moment in life is worthy of dancing, hold onto those moments that are, because they are a small taste of what is to come.... This is not our home, remember?  All of these moments are glimpses of eternity with Him in heaven, rejoicing, dancing, praising, surrounded by those who love us.  If this is just a glimpse, imagine how great that day will be!

That alone should give us reason to push through the days of nothingness, because each of those hold special moments too.  Although we may not have a fun activity coming up for weeks, we have something even greater to look forward to.  All of these in-between moments of joy are just a glimpse of heaven.