One thing a vacation should do for you is allow you space and time to think...to breathe...to feel...to experience. As I write this, I am sitting in a bedroom, in the dark, on the floor, in a cabin in Yosemite, as my family sleeps around me. It is 12:01am and they are all sleeping soundly, but I am up thinking. It is so quiet that I can finally hear myself think. It only took driving 300 miles away from home to make it happen :)
Tonight I am thinking some anxious thoughts...anxious about my baby - my 5 year old - starting Kindergarten next week. Who will his teacher be? Will he know anyone in his class? Will he feel nervous? Will he feel sad? Who will comfort him if he is upset? Tonight he is sleeping on the top bunk of a bunkbed- his first time ever doing that. He is growing up so fast. I thought letting him go would be easier this time, since I already went through this once before with Micah. But it isn't any easier. He is still my baby.
Tonight I'm thinking some proud thoughts... proud of Micah, my 7 year old, for all of the growth he has experienced lately. He has become very affectionate and loving, coming out of the stage where he resisted my comfort for awhile. He has overcome many of his fears this past year, and will be starting 2nd grade next week. Instead of feeling anxious, I feel excited for him that he gets to go back to a school he loves and see his friends again. Tonight he won 2 games of UNO that we played in the cabin, and he said, "I love winning, because it makes me think that I'm going to win the Olympics one day!" :)
Tonight I'm thinking some thankful thoughts..thankful for my husband and all he does for our family, for his patience and love towards me, and his amazing fathering skills. He is such a great dad. He woke up early with the boys at 7am and took them out fishing so that I could sleep in, then took them again the afternoon so I could get a nap. Seriously! Don't hate me; I know it's rare but I'm so thankful!
As always, late at night my thoughts tend to drift towards the future... what will we be doing? Where will we be living? Will our goals be reached? Will certain things change?
But for right now... I sit in the dark, at midnight, in a room on the floor, feeling thankful for what God has given me. We aren't perfect, we aren't rich, we have issues and needs and bills and problems, but God is.....near. It's just nice to sit in His creation and be able to really see it and feel it. And all that stress I felt last week with getting ready to come? You guys were right, it was worth it :)
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