Sunday, October 19, 2008

Fill My Cup, Lord

Today I went for a walk with the boys and I was really feeling sorry for myself. This was a hard week for me. I got back from the women's retreat last Sunday and I've just been exhausted ever since. I can't put my finger on why - I think I must have exerted a lot of mental energy there or something. When I got home, Jaden got sick...again. These boys have been sick for a month, off and on, passing things back and forth to each other. We thought it was him teething, but the 103 fever made me think it was something more. Then he stopped eating and so we took him to the doctor and found it was a throat virus - not strep, thankfully, but still. He finally started feeling better on Thursday and that night Micah got it. Micah had 102-104 fever all day Thursday and Friday, and we found he had the same thing Jaden had. Today both boys seem to finally be on the mend, but after a month of this, it gets pretty waring. I breastfed both boys for 10 months - where are all those immunities?!

Anyway, back to me feeling sorry for myself. So all week I've been feeling drained, empty, tired, etc... and I started thinking to myself "Doesn't anyone care about me?" "I don't have any friends." "If I only lived near nature I'm sure I'd feel better." "If it wasn't so stinkin' hot every day I'd be so much happier!" "If I only had more money..." And on and on it went.

Then I remembered this women's retreat we had about 4 or 5 years ago where a woman shared about how each day we have this "empty cup." Every day we try to fill our cup with different things- our spouse, approval from others, friends, our jobs, our children, etc. And when they let us down we hold out our cup and complain "Why aren't you filling my cup?!" Well, it's because they can't fill our cup. Or they may fill it with a drop, when what we need is our whole cup filled to overflowing. There is only ONE who can fill our cup everyday to overflowing. And when our cup is feeling empty, instead of expecting everyone else to fill our cup, we need to run back to Him daily and ask Him to fill it back up.

That became my prayer at the end of my walk home - "Lord, Please fill my cup today. I need YOU. Nobody else. Nothing else. Just you. Please fill me up."  

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD


  1. Jaimie...I love you. Thank you for this post. There are tears running down my face because I was feeling something similar earlier today. Thank you for putting into words how I was feeling and also what I need. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Love you friend!

  2. I'm sorry it's been a rough week...but that's a great reminder! After being sick like a dozen times earlier this year, a friend loaned us an air purifier that we run in her room all the time. It's made a huge difference. I am going to pray God provides one for you.

  3. Sorry it has been a rough week for you. I'm glad that you were reminded just when you needed to be about getting your cup filled up. It is so easy to be defeated and let all those little lies in, but like you said in HIM we are filled up and all that we need to be for our families and those around us. It's pretty amazing how many choices and decision we have to/get to make each day - and how those decisions affect every little detail. :) Thanks for sharing and reminding me too!

    Immunities!? Those seem to be out the window at a certain point - just the onslaught of germs on their little bodies! (esp. school/nursery) Last winter we bought this germ guardian online at costco - it's a uv light filter that kills everything in the air. I was just looking up the replacement bulb last night, it's time to beef up our defenses :)

  4. Hey Jaimie! I am a couple weeks behind in blogging and reading and just got caught up. So glad you are in MOPS this year! It has made the biggest difference in my life as a mom. Also if you ever need a walking partner or someone to let it all out to, please call. These are the tough years and us moms have to stick together and keep praying for each other. Hope this week is going well and I look forward to seeing you Thursday!