Blogger Interview: Renee Fisher

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Earlier this year I had a desire to interview other writers and bloggers every month to learn more about them and highlight their books and ministries.  Even in the preparation for this series, I have been so encouraged by their stories.  I can't wait to continue sharing them with you.

In March I interviewed Christin Slade, a blogger and author who is in the process of adopting two girls in Kenya, in addition to raising and homeschooling her 5 children.

This month I'd like to introduce you to Renee Fisher, an author and speaker whom I met at the Re:Write Conference last October.

The first thing that struck me about Renee was her fun and loving spirit.  I had the pleasure of working with her at the conference, and she was constantly networking other people and encouraging them.  When she approached me a few months later to start guest posting regularly for her at DevotionalDiva.com, I was more than honored.

Let's meet Renee!

1) Please tell us about yourself.
 
My name is Renee Fisher and I am happily married to my best friend Marc. After being single for over a decade, I welcome the new challenges and comforts of marriage. While I was single, I completed my college education through Biola University and wrote a couple books.

2) How did you get started writing? 

I got my start in writing by working at Good News, Etc., Newspaper based in North San Diego County. I was their office clerk and eventually got promoted to their monthly Music Column. My first interview was with Switchfoot because I had recently taken a History of Rock and Roll class. Through that, God opened up my heart to see that all my years of journal writing were not just for Him and me, but to be shared with others. That's also around the time I started blogging. 

3) Can you tell us about the books you have written, and which one is your personal favorite?

My first book, Faithbook of Jesus: Connecting with Jesus Daily is a one year devotional book and is a compilation of all my devotionals that I blogged over six years. It was so fun to rewrite and edit them and realize that God didn't waste a single word--even when I thought it was just a hobby. The second book I wrote, Not Another Dating Book was written to encourage my friends and I. After feeling like I would be single forever is when God brought Marc into my life, and in the midst of dating I ended up re-writing most of the book because (shocker) I had become much more bitter than I thought. My next two books I finished after we got married.  Loves Me Not just released, and Forgiving Others, Forgiving Me releases in July. Both written about heartbreak and the process of learning how to forgive others including yourself. 

4) What are some of the life experiences that have shaped who you are today?

When I was a young girl I developed general anxiety disorder and that taught me how to pray through my thoughts and all the lies the enemy made me to believe. Then in high school I developed severe eczema out of the blue, which took the skin off the top of my feet and face. I ended up in San Diego Children's Hospital and through that ordeal took another six years for my skin and body to fully recover, not to mention the 100 pounds I gained from taking Prednisone for my eczema. THAT is when I began reading the Bible daily and journaling at the age of 15. If I were to show you all my journals, and stack them on top of each other--would probably be over four feet!!

5) What message are you most passionate about sharing with others?
 
I am most passionate about sharing Christ with others and how they can have a daily (devotional) relationship with Him. This is something I believe is not only very important but saved my life, and kept me from committing suicide when my health made me feel like things were hopeless. Secondly, I am passionate about sharing my love story and how God can redeem our stories through a closer relationship with Him.
  
6) Can you tell us about one of the best speaking experiences you've ever had?
 
The BEST speaking experience I ever had was in Dallas, TX for Bishop T.D. Jake's church Potters House. I spoke to the young adult group called Brick House and I shared my testimony of faith and healing and got a standing ovation. I think I was only one of three white people in the room and have never felt God's presence (and energy) more powerfully than I ever have on that day!

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Renee has been a constant encouragement to me in my own writing and speaking career.  If you would like to connect with her, be sure to check out her webpage and Facebook page. You can be filled with encouragement at DevotionalDiva.com, and check out the articles she's written for Relevant Magazine, Start Marriage Right, FaithLifeWomen, IBelieve.com, and more!

Renee also leads the QuarterLife Conference for twenty-and-thirty-somethings, which is a FREE online conference with a great lineup of speakers.

You can also contact her if you are interested in booking her to speak at your church, or click on any of the links above to purchase any of her books.

Thank you, Renee, for sharing your life and heart with us!!  

A Letter to All Mothers

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Sometimes, at the end of the day, all of our mistakes pile upon our heads. They leave us feeling guilty and alone, like a failure.  All of us have days like that - some of us have weeks and months like that.  It is in those moments, in the quietness of the house, that we can become our worst enemies.  We so desperately long for someone to come alongside us and see us, to hear us, to know us.

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We know that He is there, that He sees, that He knows, but we don't feel it.  And sometimes we just need to feel Him there.

So tonight, if you need a friend, this is what I would say to you:

To the mom who is feeling alone tonight...
   You are not alone. You can do this.  We are here.  We are all in this together.

To the mom who is exhausted and just trying to find 5 minutes to herself...
    You are amazing.  Just breathe. Know that you are loved.

To the mom who is worried about her child...
     God knows. He sees. He has not left you alone. He will guide you.

To the mom who feels guilty...
     Tomorrow is a new day. Give yourself grace.  There are no perfect mothers.

To the mom who wants to give up....
     This is hard. You feel like a failure, but you're not.  His grace is sufficient.

To the mom who feels unseen....
     We see you- the community of mothers.  Your hard work may go unnoticed by tiny hands, but it      does not go unnoticed by the hands who created you.

To the mom who is angry...
     Your feelings matter. This test will not last forever. You are loved.


What is something you wish someone would say to you?

The Prescription for Good Children

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This morning I was sitting with a dear friend, sipping coffee while our children played, and we were talking about motherhood.   She made a difficult decision lately regarding her child's schooling, and has struggled on both ends of the decision.  Ultimately we agreed that often as mothers, we start comparing our children to other people's children, and we start trying to figure out what the "prescription" is for having a good child, and we try to emulate what other people are doing.  The problem is, what seems right for them may not be what's right for us.

This comparison trap seems to start when we're first pregnant and we compare ourselves to other pregnant moms (weight gain, cuteness factor, whether or not they eat lunchmeat or tuna while pregnant...you know, important things like that).  Then it moves to the birthing stage, where we compare birthing stories ("Ohhhh, you had to have a c-section? I'm sorry.....I had my baby on my living room floor" and things like that). Then it moves to the newborn stage ("my baby is 6 days old and can hold his head up high!")  and with each stage of mothering, it only seems to get worse.

At some point we start comparing our kids behavior, and trying to find the "key factors" that make good kids or bad kids. And that's where we get all messed up.  We see another person's well-behaved child and try to figure out what that parent is doing right and what we're doing wrong. Only there is no prescription for good children (really, there isn't), and we feel like a failure when our child seems worse than our friend's child.  We wonder if a certain prescription is the answer - more prayer?  Having them memorize verse?  Homeschooling them?  Staying home full-time?  Reading a certain parenting book?

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If we have a well-mannered child, we can also falsely concur that it is our stellar parenting skills that got them that way, and we can dish out advice in our head to all the "other" parents out there.  I admit, I have done it before, and my kids aren't even perfect.  We all do it at times, because we all have pride in our hearts.

So, in our quest to be the best parents and have the best children on the block, we can inadvertently take way too much credit for something that only God can do.  A child's heart is His, and He will move in their hearts despite our best efforts or greatest failures.  He is the author of their hearts, whichever school they go to or whatever friends they have.  He is the One who can change hard behavior through the Holy Spirit, when we have done everything humanly possible and failed.

We can do our part, but we have to be careful not to take too much credit for what only He can do.  Another friend was telling me how another mom called her and said, "On my sons 4th birthday, he accepted Jesus into his heart!" and it wasn't so much excitement that she was sharing, as it was almost a "dig" at the other mother, like a way to compare the two boys. It was a way of trying to take credit for something only God did.

We can also take credit for our kid's behavior based on the choices we have made as parents, giving pride a foothold, silently judging others, assuming that their kids would be better if they had made the same choices.  

I'm not saying that we should just give up or throw in the towel and be horrible parents.  I'm not saying to NOT make educated, wise choices about who our children are with, what school they go to, what shows they watch, etc... All of those are influential on our children. But let's be careful that we're not taking too much credit for the state of their hearts - something that only God can mold and change.  Let's be careful that if He has blessed us with good children, that we are not judging other people who don't have it all together.  Let's be careful that we are not patting ourselves on the back too much for things He should be getting all the credit and glory for.  Because if there were a prescription for good parenting, only God knows what it is - and what it is for one parent might be drastically different than another.  

Just Write.

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Do you remember the dreams you had as a child, then as a teenager, then as a young adult?  My own dreams have changed so much over the years, from wanting to be a veterinarian, to a singer, to a youth pastor, to a mom.  Before motherhood I was pretty ambitious, trying to continually work towards my goals, which led me to become a licensed minister and get my Master's Degree.  My life was going one direction, and then I became pregnant - a dream come true - but I knew my life was going to be forever changed.

For the past 6 years I have poured all of my energy into raising my boys, all the while knowing that I had changed and wondering what would come next.  I think it is good when dreams change - they kindof "evolve" over time, and as our seasons in life change, so do our dreams.  The last 2 years in particular I have wondered what God would have me do next. Was I called to focus solely on being a mom, or also pursue interests outside the home?

Six months ago I sensed that life was changing, but was unclear what the direction was.  I was about to turn 35, and in some ways it felt like I was having a mid-life crisis. I wondered if anything I had done up to that point had been effective. I wondered if I had made the right choices in life. I wondered if I had messed up somewhere and should have pursued other interests. I really wondered if I was a failure.  After becoming a mom, it seemed like all those accomplishments I had made meant nothing, and as though I had worked for....what?

This was my journal entry on June 19, 2011-
"Lord, show me what you created me to do.  Narrow my focus and give me a vision. Show me clearly what you have called me, specifically, to do.  Call me into a new season of ministry." 

On June 22nd -
"I've been praying that God would narrow my focus....A I write, I'm coming up with more ideas for articles....God, please show me what to do."

Then this-
"Hmmm....a thought.  If my only way to encourage people right now is through writing, I guess I better just write."


I won't go into the background of the statement "If my only way to encourage people right now is through writing..." because it would take hours.  But basically I felt like I had no ministry, no outlet, no direction, so all I knew to do was write.

Little did I know that God would answer that prayer only 4 days after I prayed it, but I didn't know He had answered it until 6 months later. Does that make sense?

It is now January...God has opened up multiple doors for writing and for speaking.  It was a dream inside that was pushed far back into a corner, and it is just now surfacing again.  For two years I heard of other people's dreams coming to fruition, and it discouraged me.  I wondered, "When will that happen for me?"  Although the doors opening for me would seem small to most people, to me they are huge, because they are an answer to that prayer I wrote on June 19, 2011.

I honestly don't know what will happen in the next year with this dream that started out as two words - "just write." Yet those two words provided me direction in the last 6 months that I needed.  I think a new dream is being born.

I say all of this because I know so many people who have dreams inside of them, and wonder if they've been forgotten. They wonder why God is not opening doors, and feel confused.  Last January I tried to get these doors to open, and not one door opened.  This January, the doors are being opened without me even trying. It's all about His timing.  When it's supposed to happen, it will happen.  If not, ask God to show you what to do in the meantime. For me, that meant "just write."  Maybe for you it means "just sing," or "just encourage," or "just be happy at home," or "just be patient."  But take heart, because He has not forgotten  you, and He will give you new dreams - or awaken the ones you had almost forgotten about.

Sing.

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I made myself a Christmas gift today. It cost $2.

I purchased a photo frame pendant from Joann's and, instead of a photo, I wanted to put a word inside. Recently I was given a huge box of old sheet music, so I searched for just the right word to put inside of the frame.  The word I chose was "Sing."

Today I did not feel like singing. It was one of those Mom Days.  You know... "Mommmyyyyyyy!!!" attached to lots of crying and whining.

There are blogs out there that make you feel like a failure as a mother, because they portray life as perfect and fine and dandy, and you wonder what in the world you are doing wrong.  I really hope this blog doesn't make you feel that way. I have always tried to be honest about things, how hard being a mom is, how my boys drive me nuts sometimes, and how there are days I just want to stay in bed with the covers over my head.  Today was that day.

I seriously feel like my boys don't want to have fun. Ever.  Both of them hate doing fun things, and I'm not kidding.  Go to a theme park?  Chances are, they'll cry about it.  Go to a birthday party?  They will definitely moan about it and then not participate at all.  Go to a park?  No thanks!  Go to a fun store with mommy?  Yeah, right!  Do a craft?  Oh please!  What are we doing wrong here?  I feel like they came out of the womb with a "just leave me alone" sign strapped to their heads.

After school is just the best part of the day. Micah comes home, and the boys begin getting all of their pent up anger out for the entire day.  They chase each other around the house, one screaming and the other crying.  Someone inevitably runs into a wall and gets hurt, and then tries to hit the other one for making him run into that wall.  For 2 hours I am basically trying to calm them down.  After about 18 time-outs, they usually end up sitting on their bed until dinner time.  Fun times, people!

Tonight there were tears about the bath not being long enough, about what pajamas to wear, about the fact we were only reading 2 books instead of 3, about wanting more food to eat, and on and on.

What in the world does this have to do with my necklace, you ask?

For one thing, I think we mothers need to do nice things for ourselves once in awhile. Even if they only cost $2.

Secondly, we need something that will always remind us to have perspective.  Yes, today was a bad day.  I should still find something I can sing about.  I know that tomorrow after school will likely have challenges.  How can I find something to sing about in that time?  I'm not trying to be unrealistic - I'm just trying to not kill myself sometimes.  (Not really, don't freak out).  And that necklace?  Well, today I kept grabbing it with my hand and just holding it.  Jesus is the real one who calms me down, but that necklace somehow helped me to stay focused today.

In every moment, I need to find something that I can sing about - even if it is just, "Help me, Lord Jesus!"

Simplifying Life

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Today on Twitter, Tsh from Simple Mom asked a good question - "what is the one most important thing you do to simplify your life?"  My friend Jenny replied, "Just say no."  Such good advice, which I forget every few days, and then am reminded of again...over and over in my life.

For the past three weeks I have felt like my life has become a little quieter, and it has felt good.  I couldn't figure it out at first. Then I noticed that the ringer on my cell phone was broken, and it would only vibrate.  Come to find out all external sound on my phone would not work. Suddenly, I couldn't talk on the phone while driving because my headset wouldn't work on my phone.  I couldn't answer the phone in a store because I never heard it ring.  I didn't even know someone called me unless my phone vibrated while it was in my pocket.  Then at home, our wireless phone sets need to be replaced since the batteries keep dying mid-conversation.  I've made a lot less phone calls, knowing the phone would probably die. That means a lot less talking has been going on for almost a month now.  Something about all of this felt like things were being simplified.

This all got me thinking to how I should simplify in other ways in my life.  This one small thing made a difference in my mind - my mind has felt less chaotic since I haven't been trying to multi-task so much.  My thinking is clearer, and I feel a little less stressed.

Here are other ways I have found to simplify my life:

-Running less errands. So many of the errands I run are unnecessary. I just want to spend money. I just want to "look."  I just want to get out of the house.  But running errands means more traffic, more money spent, and more frustration.

-Spending less.  Another way to simplify.  Less time is spent balancing the checkbook, less time is spent shopping or eating out, and it is way less stressful.  Can I get a witness?!  (Unless of course you don't have any money to spend, that is very stressful, and I know all about that too.  But I'm talking about spending less - even at the Dollar Tree - on things we don't really need)

-Going online less.  I am the biggest offender of this, because I am online all of the time (I just keep the internet open and happen to walk by it all day).  However, I find that the more I'm online, the more stressed out I feel. Not sure why, but I know I see a correlation in my own life.  I also get a lot less done.

I can also simplify my life by going to bed earlier.

Today at the gym I turned the TV off on the two machines I worked out on.  Sometimes simplifying just means less noise;  less traffic flowing in and out of my head; less congestion in my thoughts.

Of course, I am continually reminded as well that God can speak to us more clearly when we are focused on Him and reading his Word.  Yet I think we cannot always hear Him clearly if our minds are too busy.

My goal for this week is to simplify more - starting with my mind.

How about you - what do you do to simplify your life?

When Fall Comes Early

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(My brother took this photo - he rocks.)

Fall is my favorite season of the year.  The sound of leaves rustling in the wind, the smells of pumpkin pie and warm candles, the decorations, the events....everything.  With the Fall comes amazing beauty - vibrant colors of orange, red and yellows that dot the trees.  Yet towards the end of Fall, the leaves die and fall off the trees, leaving them bare and naked.  We rake up the leaves and throw them away, and await the new buds that will spring on the branches.

Fall is not upon us yet, but I have been attending a Bible study written by my good friend Laura called "Seasoned With Grace."  Through the study, we are delving into the different spiritual seasons we go through in life, which have many similarities to the seasons of nature.  So far we have studied Winter, Spring and Fall.  When she asked me last week, "Is there a season you currently find yourself in?"  The answer to me was clear: I am in Fall.

Fall is characterized by uncertainty, disappointment, dryness, a feeling of uselessness, and sometimes loneliness.

God uses this season in our lives to purify us and get rid of the dead and useless stuff in us: sin, bad attitudes, bad habits, etc.   He uses this season to prune us, so that we may then grow even more and be more effective for him.  He refines us, chipping away at those areas of ungodliness and bad thoughts and attitudes.  It hurts sometimes, but it is good.

A few months ago I had my Fall months all planned out - our schedule, the ministries I was going to be involved in, extra-curricular activities, and more.  Yet one by one every.single.door.closed.  I was left wondering "why?" and "did I do something wrong?"  Yet God kept whispering to my heart that He wanted me all to Himself for awhile.  There was some work He needed to do on me.  Bad habits he wanted to get rid of.  My bad habits have included: not taking care of myself, not being disciplined in my time with God, having a bad attitude, etc.  (I won't go on and on here) ;)

The funny thing was, the more I talked to my friends about my life and their lives, we realized that many of us are in the same season right now.  I have 4 very good friends who feel like life suddenly stopped - what they were doing ended, and they are left wondering why, and wonder what God may have in store.  But maybe what God has in store for us this season isn't outward activity.  It is inward activity.  Kindof like Fall, don't you think?

Laura writes in her curriculum, "Maintaining our focus on God during this season is imperative - it is easy to get discouraged and resist the work he is doing in our hearts if we don't."  (i.e. fill our time up with "stuff" because just sitting and being still before God is too hard).

I have made it my personal goal that during this Fall season of life, at least for 1 month, I will get up an hour earlier every morning.  I will use that time wisely to spend with God - maybe not for the entire hour, but I will be open to how He speaks to me.  I will also go to bed earlier (part of dealing with one of my "bad habits").  I am trying to take better care of my body, and exercise.  So far it's working, because I  have lost almost 5 pounds and feel completely different.  But that's not the point.  The point is, God is doing an internal work, and it is our job to be responsive to it.

If you need encouragement in this area, I encourage you to go over and read John 15.

Remember:
-It is just a season
-God is doing a deeper work
-He is still with you.



(If you'd like to read more on this topic, you can see another post here.)