I can't believe how much I have changed since becoming a mom. After having Micah almost 3 years ago, I was pretty much the same person (personality wise), going at the same pace, taking him along with me. But now, after having a second child 8 months ago, I officially have "mommy brain." I seriously feel like I am a walking, young, Alzheimer's patient. My personality type has always been Type-A. People have known me to be organized, reliable, dependable, on time, always calling them back within a few hours and emailing back right away. The new me? No way. I don't know what exactly happened and when, but something shifted. One morning I woke up, and that old me was locked away in some closet inside my head. The New Me decided to take over. I have never lost so many things in my life! I am forgetful, I have missed events I RSVP'd for, I am walking around in some kind of haze every day! Now, I am "on time" if I arrive less than 30 minutes late to any event. I am "dressed up" if I am wearing clothes (period) and if they do not have throw up on them somewhere. My hair and makeup are done if my hair is up in a clip and I've slapped some chapstick on. My house is clean if there is a path between the loads of laundry that allows me to get from room to room.
Of course, I am exaggerating a little bit. But mostly, I feel bad for people who call or email me. Sometimes it takes me weeks to get back to them. I am online frequently but only for a minute or two at a time, when I stop to catch a breath and check my email between changing two boys in diapers, nursing one and feeding the other, getting lunch and dinner ready, and doing laundry.
These things might make the average woman with no children feel utterly depressed at the thought of having kids. But honestly, I love it. I am doing the best that I can. I admit that I don't have it all together. If you just "drop by" you might think my house is a mess, that it smells funny, and that I am still in my pajamas. Or you might catch me on a day when things are put away, the kids are happily playing with each other, and I'm relaxing on the couch reading a magazine while dinner is simmering in the crock pot. Either way, I never know what each day will bring, and that is part of the joy. Every day is a new adventure.
Oh, and to my old self, my new self would like to say, "Just chill, woman!"
Me and the Boys - Valentine's Day
Wow! Are you sure that you aren't writing about me? I too was the typical type A person. Even after Abby was born. But today I decided to use our stuck in the home day as the disinfect day. So as I sat disinfecting toys I remembered how I cleaned Abby's toys every week like clockwork. And more if people came over! Yeah not so much anymore! Poor Lila, will have a strong immune system.
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