Today I took my boys to a mall where there was an indoor playground, and Micah had the meltdown of ALL meltdowns. First he got kicked in the face by another kid's shoe, hard enough so that I figured out what happened by the shoe print on his face, without having actually seen it. He sobbed for awhile while I held him on the floor in the midst of 20 kids running around me and jumping over me. After he seemed okay, I told him he could play a little longer, and proceded to give him a 5 minute warning, a 2 minute warning, a 1 minute warning, and then another 5 minute warning after he asked "5 more minutes?"
When it was time to go, he flatly refused, saying "No!" right to my face. I put on my fake smile since all the other parents were watching me, and said, "Micah, you don't tell mommy 'No.' We are going to go right now." "NO!" he replied even louder. I calmly repeated myself again, to which he loudly replied, "No, No, NO!!" so I grabbed his arm and preceded to drag him away from the area while holding Jaden in my left arm (not easy to do, I might add). Micah proceeded to scream at the top of his lungs as if I was a kidnapper stealing him away, while the rest of the world watched. I managed to buckle Jaden in the stroller and had to physically wrestle Micah into it as well, all while he kicked me and was trying to hit me. The whole way out to the car, he screamed, kicked and tried to get out of the stroller by sliding out under the front tray. He managed to succeed right when we were in the middle of the parking lot with cars coming from both directions.
When we got to the car, with all of my body weight, I had to hold him down to buckle him in his car seat. He wanted to get in the car seat himself, buckle himself in, put his shoes on himself, and shut the door (all of which he was screaming to me as well as "Playground!!") Make no mistake about it, this boy wants to be in CONTROL. He screamed the whole way home, with me becoming one of those mothers who says "Just WAIT until we get home, boy! You are going to GET IT!"
We got home and he kicked and screamed the whole way into the house, so I brought him into my bedroom and spanked him. Now, I don't know how you feel about spanking, but if there ever was a time to use it, it was right then. I explained to him why he got spanked, told him I loved him, and then asked him, "Why did you get spanked?" "Kicking you" was his reply, with tears streaming down his face.
I brought him onto my lap and held him as he sobbed, and my tears began to flow, falling onto his head. I thought to myself, "He did it. I reached my breaking point." I was so exhausted from dealing with that tantrum, one of the worst I have ever had to deal with, dealing with a 2 year old's anger and frustration in the worst way. It's amazing how much it got to me. I held him for a really long time, and he listened as I just whispered "I love you" over and over. I'm really tired now.
I pray that God gives me wisdom in raising him, because he is so strong-willed, stubborn, and wants to be in control. Hmmmm... sounds like someone else I know (a.k.a. ME).
Oh the joys of parenting. What a challenging day. It's so exhausting sometimes to be a good parent. I see why some just give up and let their kids run wild. I am very much for spanking in the right way for the right things :) I definately think you did it right. It is so right that you ended the whole day and episode with love. That is what he'll remember.
ReplyDeleteBoy have I been there! Good job Mama, those are the moments that you are proving to yourself - that you CAN do it!
ReplyDeleteOh Jaimie! So sorry to hear but unfortunately we all seem to have that day at least once! You handled it very well and hang in there. Abby is pretty strong willed also and for me it was finding what was important to her. It gets better in terms of tantrum like behavior but they get smarter and learn quickly how to manipulate so then it gets even more exhausting. Praying for you. It's a long haul but the rewards are so worth it.
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