This Broken World

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Today my heart is breaking for the family of Greg & Cathe Laurie, who lost their son Christopher in a car accident earlier today. Topher was my first crush, as my dad was on staff at Harvest when I was younger. He was definitely my most serious crush, as I practically "stalked" him with letters and tried to physically get close to him every time I went to the Harvest Crusades :) We were childhood friends around age 6 and I kept a close eye on him until I was in early high school. He never really knew I existed, other than I was "Randy's daughter" who was shy and probably gave him the creeps. (You can see Harvest's statement about his death here). I know they are a great family and you always wonder why God allows things like this to happen to people who are serving God so faithfully.

My heart also breaks for the family of Denise Lee, the daughter of a detective, who was kidnapped and murdered. A 911 caller saw her screaming for help in a car, but the police car was never dispatched to help her. She had two toddler boys at home, and when her husband arrived home and didn't see his wife, he noticed his older toddler boy had climbed into the crib of the younger baby to comfort him. This story was on NBC and I have seen it twice, but it always hits me for some reason. This was a 21 year old young mother who was so innocent, who had 2 young boys and a loving husband, and was killed by a stranger for no reason.

My heart also broke today for the mother of a developmentally disabled boy. I saw her in the mall, lovingly and patiently feeding him lunch. He must have been about 9or 10 years old. You could just see the love in her eyes for him.

When I hear and see these things, I ask "Why?" "Why, God?" I have been a Christian for over 25 years now and consider myself strong in my faith. Yet I still long for answers to these questions. I'm glad that God is okay with my questions.

These things remind me of the Rita Springer song called "Worth it All":

I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways

Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You

It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this