Change of Plans

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Sometimes my introverted nature gets the best of me. I have been known to see people in a store and duck through the aisles so they won't see me. Don't worry - I didn't do this to YOU - it's usually people I haven't seen in awhile, that I am not close with, who I don't want to have one of those superficial conversations with. Maybe part of it is from being a pastor's wife; I am used to having to interact with over 50 people on a personal basis on Sundays, and while I do enjoy it, I am pretty drained at the end of the day and need a big nap. I hope I don't sound snobby; I just sometimes know that I'm not "at my best" and just want to go through a store without a conversation.

My best friend Heather, on the other hand, is the total opposite. She can befriend any store clerk, waiter, mailman, or woman in line within one minute. She's funny, interacts with them easily, and always uses their name once she finds it out. People LOVE her! After I'm with her I always think "I wish I was more like that!" People genuinely feel she cares for them and they feel impacted after meeting her. When I'm with her I enjoy it because she is the outgoing one, so I can just observe and smile and not feel any pressure :)

Heather & I



But today I was supposed to go to my first play date for MOPS, which I recently joined. It doesn't start until September, but I've been getting these emails about play dates at local parks. All week I've been planning on going, I woke up and got dressed to go, and started getting the boys ready, but slowly started losing steam. I started thinking about having to walk up to women I don't know (most of whom know each other already), and introduce myself. For some reason, this makes me really nervous!! What will I say? What will they think of me? How will my kids behave? What will we talk about? Oh, there were other reasons too, like the fact we only have 1 car right now and M needs to get to work, and the park is really far from my house, but I'm a little embarrassed to admit that these first thoughts went through my head.

I know it sounds sad, or silly, or ridiculous. But tonight I'm having someone over for dinner while M is at church, so I need to "save up" all my energy for her, you know?! :) Just kidding. So, change of plans. But maybe I'll go next week.