Sunday, July 5, 2009

Seriously?! Part 3 (on the 4th of July)

Before I get to our festivities on the 4th of July (and all the craziness involved there), I have to quickly share about a "fun" conversation I had with a woman the other day. We were talking about M & I moving, and how we found this great deal, and she said "Wow. (semi-mean tone of voice) I wish I found out about that house before you did ; I would have snatched that up!" Hmmmm.... Maybe she didn't mean it that way?! Seriously?! That sounded kind of mean.

But nothing tops this. I was in the line at Albertsons when the woman behind me tapped me on the shoulder and said "Um, Hi! Mrs. B?!" (It was the parents of a former student of mine from 5 years ago). I recognized her immediately and realized that this would be one of "those" conversations (you know - the ones where you haven't seen someone in 5 years but you're not really close to them, so you have to make small talk and catch up even though you really want to get out of there?!)

Then it happened. She put her hand on my stomach and she asked it - the question I just knew was coming: "Are you having another baby?!" I (fought the urge to punch her in the face and just) calmly replied, "Um, nooooo *polite smile*. We already have two little ones at home and we're done." "Oh! How cute!" as she looked at my necklace with their pictures. She quickly changed the topic and never even seemed to realize what just happened! I was so, um, stunned (and embarrassed, and feeling ginormous, etc...) that I walked out of the store in a total daze, and accidentally rammed my cart into some woman's foot and her shoe came off. Oops - wrong woman to do that to. She gave me a look of death and then told me that her "leg was broken" (already) and I just hurt it even more. I apologized profusely, asked if she was okay, and she said she was. Then I hurried to my car, hoping to avoid a potential lawsuit, and got out of dodge quick. Um....SERIOUSLY?!

For the 4th of July, we went to a local park where there were literally about 10,000 people there to watch the fireworks. Micah put his fingers in his ears 15 minutes prior to the show starting (because I told him it would be loud) and did not take them out until after the show was over :)

After the first one went off, Jaden got SO scared he was absolutely freaking OUT. He was trembling and trying to run as fast as he could away from there, saying "go home! go home!" Martin had to leave with him and finally was able to calm him down after about 15 minutes (when it was pretty much over). But that's not the "seriously" part yet.

Okay, NOW (drum roll, please) for the ultimate SERIOUSLY day of all time:

So we got home, and Martin and I stayed up late talking until about 1am. We went to bed, and he began his nightly snoring routine, while I fought some insomnia and just layed there half-asleep. At 2am, I heard a LOUD banging on our front door (at least 5-10 times). It was loud enough to shake the door. I freaked out like I have never freaked out (all inside of my body, of course) :) I woke Martin up and he shot out of bed so fast - it was really a little tiny bit comical. He ran to the front door and yelled "who's there?!" and banged back (um, not sure what that was about, but maybe it scared them a little). Lord knows we were not about to open the door OR look out the window right there. I immediately dialed 911 and was shaking as I explained what happened. Martin heard a car door shut outside and they drove away.

The cops arrived (4 of them) about 5 minutes later, and we told them what happened. They shined their flashlights around the grass and noticed a large Coke bottle on our lawn, and told us it was some sort of "dry ice bomb". (Click that if you want to read more about it). Apparently it is a common prank, but causes a loud explosion anytime between 30 seconds - 30 hours later, which can deafen (literally) anyone nearby. They told us to leave it there, as it looked as though it may not detonate (the dry ice was starting to dissipate). Um, okay, officers! We'll leave this LIVE BOMB out on our lawn and just wait up to 30 hours for it to (maybe) explode. They left it there, we left it there, and we all went back to our own business.

M and I could not get back to sleep. We were both trembling from the loud banging on the door - it was so terrifying. We did not know if these people were trying to get into the house or what, but that was my first thought. You know how your mind goes to the farthest point of what could possibly happen when you're in a situation like that? Yeah, well, mine did. I was shaking for about an hour, and we only got about 3 hours of sleep last night.

So this morning I went out to the car (late for church) and my car alarm starts going off! I could not get it to turn off for 5 minutes. It just kept starting and stopping again. It was totally nuts. I thought to myself, "seriously?!" Finally after reading the car's owner's manual, I got off to church, only to drive over a glass bottle on the way there! Just great.

The service started at church, and I was on stage in the middle of singing the first song, when one of the boys in the church starts waving at me from the back, motioning and mouthing words that look like "Micah is missing!!!" He goes out and comes back and does this two more times. I'm trying to focus, focus and thinking "what do I do here?!" I prayed like crazy and waited until the 2nd song was over, and during the prayer I slipped off the stage and ran out the back. I found Micah running around the church, and found out that he wasn't actually "missing" - he just wouldn't follow Ian back into the service (Ian was watching him for me). Micah fought me to go into his classroom for a few minutes, kicking, screaming and scratching me. It was weird, because that has never happened. Again - seriously?! (I slipped back on stage in the 3rd song and thankfully no one seemed to notice).

To say I am exhausted is an understatement. Are you exhausted from reading that hecka-long post?! So sorry about that... But to look on the bright side, we got the keys to our new house today!! Woo-Hoo!! 5 days to go until we get the U-Haul! :) And hopefully no more "seriously's" for this week!


  1. Quite a weekend for you guys! Bean shoots up super fast out of bed too. And it NEVER fails that our nursery number comes up when we are both occupied. Like today...I was on an intercom as the producer of our patriotic celebration...and Bean was in position to take photos of Miss Rose singing with the kids. And bam--number pops up. Luckily he made it back just in time to get some photos!

  2. oh my goodness! So much crazy :) Joe pops up like that when the dog starts barking for no reason, in the middle of the night! She's just looking out for us :) It's pretty much always nothing. I liked how helpful the cops were! Really just leave it!? Thank God you guys are moving - hopefully it's a bit quieter there :)

  3. You make our life sound boring :D The visual of M "popping out of bed" make me giggle. :D So glad you guys are ok. And that whole "pregnancy belly" thing...i've had that happen TWICE in my life...and both times I ended up pregnant within a few months. So watch out :D
    Good luck with the move my friend!