Friday, January 22, 2010
People Who "Get It"
When I was a new mom, I needed to talk to someone else who had recently been a new mom because I just knew she would "get it." (If she had older kids, she might not get it as easily as before- I have found that I don't "get it" as easily as I used to!).
When I had my 2nd child, and had 2 kids under 2 years old, I needed to find mothers who had also been traumatized by that experience :) Mothers who just "got it": got the having 2 kids in diapers, who simultaneously poop and throw up on you, enduring quick Target runs while the other mothers (with only 1 kid) stared at you with contempt because your kids were the ones screaming. I think once you have 2 kids, it separates you a little bit from the ones with 1 kid, because you have to go find new people who "get it." People with 1 kid just don't get the people with 2 kids, and the people with 2 kids no longer remember what it is always like to just have 1 (we don't always empathize as easily after having more than 1). It's not bad at all; it is just how life turns out!
If you have more than 2 kids, you have to go find new people who "get it," because I hear it is a totally different experience having 3 kids than 2! In other words, we will always need new people in our lives who "get it."
Today we met with another couple in ministry. It is great to meet with others in full time ministry, because man, did they "get it." There are a lot of pressures and decisions that people in ministry face, that other people try to understand but you just can't unless you've actually walked that road. And when you do walk that road, you have so much more compassion for others walking the road. The other day I read a disparaging quote about senior pastors, written by someone who has never been in full time ministry. It angered me, because, well, it was written by someone who does not "get it." We are so hard on other people when we have not walked in their shoes.
It is also nice to have people in your life who "get it" about other areas as well: being married (as long as you have), not having family close by, struggling to make ends meet, etc.. Or maybe you need to get together with someone who "gets it" about adopting a child (because you have), or working while raising a child, or homeschooling, or having a child with an illness, or having a miscarriage, or being married to someone of a different faith, or being single with no children. Whatever your situation is, it is so important to seek out and find people who "get" whatever situation your in. It is a breath of fresh air.
Do you have a friend who "gets it"? Or do you need a friend who "gets it"? That's what I love about the blogging community; you can easily find others who "get it", whatever your situation in life is. I hope you find a friend like that today.