Saturday, November 26, 2011

Out of My Control

Do you ever feel like God is continually trying to teach you that you are not in control?  I am in that season, and it is tough sometimes.  It seems like every day I'm faced with some new challenge that reminds me that I am not in control of my life, and I just need to deal with it.

Take Thanksgiving day, for instance. I planned ahead and ordered our family meal from Sprouts this year.  Confirmation letter received, I was to pick up our meal on Thanksgiving Day at 10am.  We decided to go as a family to pick it up, but when we arrived we found no cars in the parking lot.  "Warning - Warning!!" my mind started to shout.  Martin parked the car and I rushed to the front doors.  They were locked.  Nobody was inside.  I stood there for probably five minutes with my face and hands pressed to the glass doors, looking inside for any signs of life.  Nothing.  Nobody.

I walked back to the car, fighting back tears.  I was so confused and overwhelmed.  Just the thought of having to go to a grocery store and pick up a 12-pound frozen turkey with all the fixin's was enough to make me have a nervous breakdown.  We sat in the car and tried to figure out what went wrong.  After the 10 minute drive back home, I checked my email again, and then made a phone call to Henry's Market.  The man on the phone read my name and order right back to me, and said it was there waiting for me.  Henry's and Sprouts recently merged, and both addresses were on the same street within 1 block from each other.  PHEW!  I cannot tell you how relieved I was!

Back in the car we went, and I just about kissed the deli guy who worked there.  I was SO happy!  The whole "charade" took about an hour because of driving back and forth to the house.  During that time, I felt so helpless, so mad, so frustrated.  But it all worked out in the end.  Once again, something was out of my control, and I just had to wait.

It is a test of character, waiting is.  A test of our faith.  A test of perseverance and patience.

Something else happened out of my control this month. Our church decided to consolidate with another church.  That might not be a huge deal to some, but when your husband is one of the pastors of the church, it is a huge deal.  It means his job will be changing a bit, he will have even more responsibility, our time together as a family will be affected.  It means that we're leaving our building and the comfortability of the church we've known and loved for 9 years, and we're going somewhere new.  Change is hard.

It is a test of character, change is.  A test of our faith.  A test of perseverance and patience.

Tomorrow is our last Sunday at our church, before we all move together to the new church.  Our "family" of 150 is growing to 350.  Our staff of 3 is growing to a staff of 6.  The faces I have come to know will be mixed in with 200 faces I don't know.  Once again, I'm faced with a situation that is out of my control, and it is scary.

I know more situations will come that are out of my control; in fact, this is only 2 of hundreds that have happened this year.  But with each situation, I hope and pray that my character is deepening, my patience is growing stronger, my trust is becoming more secure.

Tonight I'm thankful that when things feel out of control, I can put my trust in the One who is in control.

Whatever situation you are in that is out of your control, take a moment to stop and breathe. With every breath you take, say "I will trust in You."  We are learning valuable lessons, and although they are not fun, they are drawing us closer to Him.

Psalm 73:28
"But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds."


  1. Oh my goodness! Such a good word. Thank you for sharing! I am DAILY reminded, maybe hourly or even moment by moment that I am not in control of ANYTHING. I want to be so badly.
    In my job...I just have to laugh when I think of control. I don't control where I go, where I live, when I wake up (well, some days I do), never when I will go to sleep (which may be at my desk :) ) or even what I will eat. So a little thing like my future....I can't do anything BUT leave it in God's hands. Sometimes I feel if I tried to control something so trival as my future, it may fall apart right in front of my face! Thank you for sharing. You are a blessing!

  2. Jaimie this is such a great post and so timely. It seems every year as we enter into Christmas, the fact I am not in control is punctuated by expectations. Thank you for this. I'm praying for your church family and hoping the transition will be smooth and a blessing for all. Love you!

  3. So so true! The last 10 years of my life have felt very out of control, but God has always been very much IN control. It has been a constant test of faith, but one I'm forever grateful for because He has molded me into a much better person than I ever was before. Thank you for writing about your faith.

    ~Blessings and Hugs,