tiniest thing makes you tear up and get all weepy? I don't mean those PMS weeks (although it happens then too), but those emotional weeks where you ask yourself "what is wrong with me?!" Allow me to illustrate. Today. 2:25pm. I look at the fridge and see this:Do you ever have those weeks where the
And suddenly I'm a pile of tears. "What in the world?!" I think to myself. Why would this picture of a friendly shark surrounded by the ABC's make me tear up? I sit there for a few minutes and think. This is one of the only moments of silence I've had all day since the boys are taking their naps (oh wait - one of them is in there messing around as I write. Today I'm choosing my battles.) Anyway, I started to think. "Why am I all teary lately?" Ahhhh, yes. It is coming clearer. Because tomorrow morning we take our "baby" in (I still call him that even though he's almost 4) to have his tonsils and adenoids removed, and tubes put in both ears. And I am just so sad for him. I'm sad that he can't eat past midnight tonight and I never want my baby to be hungry. I'm sad that his surgery isn't until 11:30am and the Nazi nurse was mean to me when I asked if we could move it up (her response to everything I ask is "No, we can't do that.") I'm sad that Micah is scared to go to the hospital. I'm sad that he will have about 5 days of excruciating pain that I will not be able to soothe. I'm sad because I remember having this very same surgery when I was 4 and it terrified me to wake up in the recovery room and not know what was going on.
So THAT must be why I am all teary. Today Micah saw this postcard that was sent to him and was so excited. He wanted to display it on the fridge and I watched as he ever-so-carefully placed each letter around the card as a border to hold it into place. I love how such little things bring him so much joy. And how for the past few days all he's wanted to do is collect Roly-Polys from outside and put them in a box so "they can be friends." And how last night in the bath he told me all about how he and Sophia played house at school and they pretended that they bought the "playing kitties" (that we saw at the shelter) and how "he was the boy and she was the girl" and they wanted to go to Disneyland. I just love this boy so much that my heart wants to burst, and I'm so sad at the pain he's about to endure.
Wow. Sorry for such a depressing post. But I really needed to get all that out, so I promise I'll make a happy post sometime soon :) I know, I know.... It will all be okay, he will do fine, there's nothing to worry about, God is in control, etc... I know those things. But I just needed to be a little emotional today. :)