Sunday, January 2, 2011

My Inward Resolves

I used to be a BIG New Year's Resolution girl, but each year I grow more disenchanted with that word...with the unrealistic goals I set for myself...with trying to be different instead of accepting the way that God made me....and then with the feeling of failure that I haven't met any of my resolutions at the end anyway.  I read this post from my friend Victoria, however, that I really liked - her resolutions seemed to focus more on inward resolve rather than external things. 

Every year around Christmas time, I pray that God will give me a word that will describe the coming year for me.  A word that I can hold on to and look forward to.  In 2009 I felt that the word was TRANSITION, and we ended up moving to our new house.  In 2010 my word was CLARITY.  This past year did give me opportunities to clear out "excess" from my life and focus more on what is most important.  I also stepped aside from ministry in a few areas which allowed me a much needed break. 

This year the word I have sensed for 2011 is CHANGE. I'm not sure what (or how), but I pray that I will welcome it and be open to what God has in store. 

One of the first changes I am making is taking a break from photography for awhile.  I will still do editing on the side for income, but I am not going to do any photo sessions for a long time, possibly until September (for the 2011 Christmas season).  I need to upgrade my equipment, get my computer fixed, re-define my goals and just have a break.  The business has been running for 5 years now and I'm praying about whether I should continue to pursue it as a legitimate business, or just a hobby.  As of right now, it is no longer fun, no longer energizing to me, but just constantly draining.  The minute I made that decision, I felt a huge weight lifted off of me. 

This past year was busy.  Photography, MOPS, women's ministry, lactation counseling, and then entering the world of kindergarten was a lot.  I have ended 90% of what I was involved in, and it feels good.  For now I will focus on continuing to help in Micah's class, volunteering once every 2 months at the Pregnancy Help Center, and as for the rest, we will just have to wait and see...

Change is ahead, and it feels good.  Sometimes you have to stop and re-focus so that you can enter a new phase with energy and vision.  I also don't want to be known as a "busy" person, and I regret that is how many people have seen me.  Busy does not mean important, or effective, in any means.  I want to be present, not busy and distracted.  While we can't avoid certain commitments or scheduled events, I don't have to overload myself with more to do.  It is okay to say "no" and not be overly concerned with what someone else might think of me for saying that. 

So, if I'm going to make resolutions this year, instead of my same old list (like last year's), here are my 2011 Inward Resolves:

-I resolve to welcome change instead of resist it
-I resolve to find the beauty in the season I am in
-I resolve to be less busy and more present
-I resolve to appreciate my boys and the stage they are in more
-I resolve to say "no" more often
-I resolve to not feel guilty about having to say no
-I resolve to love more and fight less
-I resolve to honor Christ more with my thoughts and words
-I resolve to serve and love my husband in new and creative ways

What are your 2011 Resolutions or Inward Resolves?

1 comment:

  1. Awesome post! I'm like you, I love to help, have a hard time saying no and care too much about what people think about me. But all we really need to care about is what CHRIST thinks about us. CHANGE sounds wonderful! I'm excited to see the CHANGES that you all experience this year and can't wait to celebrate with you! That's if you're not too busy LOL - KIDDING!! XOXOXOXOXOXO